I Came to the West for THIS?!

Part Three

"So, my child, where are your elflings hiding?" Earwen's question was dripping with sweetness as she watched Tallasinde set up the pieces to one of the games that had been brought as a present for the young ones. Orophin and Valarda looked at one another in panic, and Orophin, who was sitting on the arm of the sofa, regarded Celebdreth with a pat on the back.

"Have you met my nephew Celebdreth? Rumil's son, a bright boy," Orophin said. "Learned more Westron than Rumil and I, and speaks it better than Haldir."

"I have met Celebdreth," said Earwen with a nod to her great- great grandson, "but I am wondering where your offspring are. Certainly, you have thought of raising a family of your own and of producing an heir."

Valarda and Orophin exchanged looks once more, and Valarda shook her head slightly. In the short time she had known this elleth, she had decided she was not about to pretend anything with her. Galadriel could sometimes guess things about other elves, while Earwen just seemed to know things, even if she pretended not to. "We did think about it briefly," Valarda finally said.

"How briefly?" asked Earwen, brows arching high.

"Well, now, let me think." Valarda paused, tilting her head slightly. "Orophin said once that it would be lovely to have a miniature version of himself that he could teach all sorts of crafty little tricks to. I promptly told him if he had the first one, I would produce as many more elflings as he desired." A number of the occupants in the room snickered, and Valarda continued.

"Then I got to thinking about it, and told him I might consider it, but that he would have to practice on something first. I suggested a cat." Valarda frowned. "I can't recall, but there was a reason we decided that would not work."

"I believe it was when I asked, `Will we have to feed it every day?'." said Orophin.

Valarda nodded, to the horror of one and the amusement of the rest. "Yes, that was it. So instead, Rumil had been growing pumpkins in the yard, and he made the comment that each one was like one of his children-"

"It was a very good year for pumpkins, as I recall," interjected Rumil. "Quite proud of them, I was."

"-so I asked Rumil for a pumpkin so that Orophin could practice taking care of something small and fragile. Never mind that he didn't have to feed it, change it, or put it to bed – I assumed we would need at least a thousand years of practice on those skills." Valarda picked up her glass, taking a long drink from it and gauging Earwen's reaction.

"I named the pumpkin `Red'," said Orophin. Everyone stared at him without a sound, and he made a bit of a fist with one hand. "Good…strong name…" He let his hand fall back to his side and drained his glass.

"Five pumpkins later-"

"What happened to the first four?" asked Lhunerin calmly, but there was laughter in her eyes.

"Pumpkin pie, pumpkin pie, pumpkin pie, pumpkin pie," said Orophin, ticking each one off on his fingers. Earwen realized her mouth was open in disbelief and slowly closed it.

Valarda began again. "Five pumpkins later, we were able to find a smaller one that appeared it would work beautifully." Orophin made the shape of a small pumpkin, showing the group it was so small, his hands would have covered around the entirety of it. "I had some things to do that day, and left `Junior' in the care of his `Ada'."

"Never found out the gender of the little one," sighed Orophin. "I just called it `Tiny'."

"I asked Haldir to keep an eye on him, make sure Orophin didn't leave the poor dear sitting out in the sun or anything," said Valarda, looking at her brother-in-law.

Haldir crossed his arms and narrowed his eyes. "I was told to keep an eye on Orophin, but not why or what the pumpkin was a representation of."

"I became busy working out a word puzzle Rumil created when Haldir came to my room to check on me. I didn't notice him at first, until he started playing a game of `Toss the Baby in the Air'," began Orophin.

"He's really quite good at it," Tallasinde suddenly said. "But once he tossed me too high and my tummy got very sick very fast-"

"You throw elflings in the air?!" Earwen's eyes were wide, and she went to the floor where Tallasinde and Vilya were, scooping Tallasinde into her arms. Although normally quite emotional about such things, Tallasinde was confused now as she was hugged close. "You have none of your own, do you?" pressed Earwen, continuing to hold Tallasinde as she stood.

"No, I don't, not yet, but I-"

"Not married yet, either, I see," she added, looking to Haldir's hands, which bore no rings of marriage or betrothal. "Likely better that way."

"But, it isn't how it sounds!" argued Haldir, lowering his voice quickly. "Orophin exaggerates," he added. "When I play with the girls, I- well, here, this is what it is." Haldir stood up and went to Vilya, holding out both arms. Vilya happily stood up and tightly gripped Haldir's upper arms while he put his hands around her waist. "Ready now, Ithilim?" Vilya nodded enthusiastically, and Haldir looked to make sure there was enough area clear in the center of the room before picking her up as he turned, lifting her high in the air with her feet out behind her, before swinging her back down to the ground again. "That is called `Flying'. There is no such real game as `Toss the Baby in the Air.'" Haldir drew himself up to his full height and stared down Orophin where he sat as Vilya wrapped her arms around Haldir's legs and gave them a squeeze before she sat back down amid the presents that had been brought.

Orophin shrugged his shoulders as the elder elves looked to him and he mumbled, "Well, there could be."

The room was quiet for a while, until Lhunerin asked, "What happened to Tiny?"

"Well, like I said, Haldir was playing a game of `Toss the Baby in the Air'."

"And he dropped the baby?" asked Earwen dryly.

Orophin shook his head. "No, no. He broke the baby."

"I broke the stem off," admitted Haldir in a huff, "but I was not aware it was his child."

"We weren't sure if that counted as a head or a leg, or if it was only natural, like that odd piece of skin on the elfling's belly that eventually falls off," continued Orophin as if he had not heard Haldir, prompting the older elf to speak again.

"At this point, I still didn't know it was an elfling," defended Haldir.

"I had to call in an expert, and Rumil does know some things about healing."

Rumil sighed, and stood up to give his expert medical opinion. "I was called because it was one of the pumpkins from my garden, and Orophin shouted across the hall, `Ai! You broke the pumpkin!'. I anticipated finding a mess as with the first four times, but instead was able to convince Orophin it was merely natural that the stem eventually would dry out and fall off."

"Still, Rumil didn't tell me what the pumpkin was, either," Haldir said sharply, and Elodien scooted far enough to the front of her spot on the couch she sat onto pull Haldir down next to her by the elbow. Valarda took note of that action, and hid her grin as Elodien slipped her right arm through Haldir's left, then discretely maneuvered her left hand to massage Haldir's elbow. Haldir suddenly didn't seem to care about the pumpkin anymore, relinquishing the floor to Rumil and Orophin as he relaxed and tried not to grin at the elleth next to him or make eye contact with her.

"Orophin caused much commotion from his outburst, however, and it was Ada who next came to see what was the matter," said Rumil, sitting down with a smirk.

Celeborn motioned that they should stop, and a blush started to creep up his neck. "Enough, now, Orophin and Valarda have no children, nor will they likely ever. As for Haldir, he will make an exceptional father, when the time comes." Celeborn threw an apologetic glance in his wife's direction, knowing she would deal later with her mother questioning the sanity of her family.

"And when exactly will that time come?" wondered Earwen, focusing now on the eldest of the brothers. Haldir gulped audibly, and Celeborn rose from his seat.

"I do believe I have heard the sounds of Thranduil's party approaching," announced Celeborn, making a motion at his eldest son. "Haldir, would you be so kind as to assist me in greeting our guests?" Haldir did not need to be convinced, and would have leaped from his spot, had Elodien not had her hand on his elbow. Passing Orophin as he followed their father, he mouthed the word `eight' to him and was smirked at after being told without sound `nineteen'. Haldir's scowl was seen by no one.

"There is no way for me to thank you enough, Ada." Haldir caught up to his father and fell in step with him. Celeborn placed an arm around Haldir's waist and drew him closer, causing Haldir to reciprocate by putting his hand on his father's shoulder and letting his own arm drape down Celeborn's back, which was all relative, considering Celeborn's height, or Haldir's lack of it.

"I should have let Orophin continue his story. I did not realize Earwen would attack you next." He spoke softly, hoping the conversation in the parlor was enough to drown out their voices. He knew they were being followed, but he didn't worry much about the one tracking them.

Lhunerin finally caught up to the pair when they stopped outside. Closing the front doors behind her before joining them on the porch, she threaded her own arm around her son's waist. "I don't suppose you might tell me the rest of Orophin's story?" she asked after a long contained giggle escaped from her.

"I was unaware that the pumpkin was an elfling as well." Celeborn reddened in the face. "I did something most inappropriate."

"Did you smash it?" asked Lhunerin.

"No, Na', I…" Celeborn laughed in spite of himself and sighed. "I ate the damned thing. Just, took it away from them, and as they were arguing, I took a bite out of it, told them none of them could have it. Rumil had such a look of horror on his face, and Orophin passed out. The only time I ever remember such a thing happening."

"It was only then that Rumil explained what the pumpkin was," said Haldir. "Adar still ate the rest of it anyway."

"Would have been a shame to waste it," shrugged Celeborn.

"Ai!" Lhunerin chuckled. "Haldir, be sure not to dress any of your future children in orange, for I would fear for their safety."

"Oh, I don't know if I'll-"

"Never say that, or you'll end up with a dozen," warned Lhunerin.

"W-well, I, uh, I-"

Celeborn hugged Haldir closer. "Don't listen to her, she said the same thing to me before I married."

"It's still possible," said Lhunerin. "I'm not sure you and your wife have stopped producing elflings."

"We're done," insisted Celeborn at the same time Haldir said, "There's no more room in the house for anymore."

"Ah." Lhunerin looked around her son to her grandson. "Where your father has a quick mind, you add logic to your answers."

"Still, I believe I learned that from him," Haldir said.

"Logic? From your father." Lhunerin grinned with a wink. "He settled a dispute over a pumpkin by eating it."

"It wasn't a pumpkin, it was an elfling," corrected Celeborn, slightly put off.

Lhunerin laughed harder. "Ah, yes, that's right. Well, then, that will about do it." The riders were fast approaching, and Lhunerin squeezed her son's hand. "You will need to forgive me. It has been long since I saw you, and I still have the image of you in my mind as my clumsy little prince, gathering flowers all day and returning covered in mud with a frog in his pocket and deer following him."

"So that's where Rumil got it from," mused Haldir quietly, but he was distracted by the riders, and squinted to count the number of horses. "How many are there supposed to be in Thranduil's party?"

"I believe there are six total," answered Celeborn.

"There are seven," informed Haldir, stepping away from the elder elves and down the stairs. "Thranduil and his sons, Glorcheniel, Thaladir, the dwarf and…I do not know the seventh, he is dressed – I would swear the colors are of Gondolin."

"Is it Glorfindel?" wondered Celeborn, joining his son. He focused on the unknown rider. "Oh, fuck."

"Celeborn!" Lhunerin came down the steps and swatted her son on the rear. Celeborn didn't so much as budge as a finger was shaken in his face menacingly, or at least as menacingly as the shorter elf could manage. "That is most inappropriate language."

"I never believed it when you said it, Ada, but I suppose it's true that you're really never too old an elfling to get spanked," Haldir drawled with the slightest amusement.

"Wipe off that smirk or I shall find a switch and we can further test that theory."

Haldir pressed his lips together immediately and looked back at the party, which were nearly upon them. "Who is he?"

"His name is Ecthelion."

"Ecthelion? Ecthelion from Gondolin Ecthelion?" asked Haldir excitedly. "The Ecthelion? Of the fountain? The one who slayed the balrogs?"

"Good, you can deal with him." Celeborn cleared his throat, readying to greet the elves as they reached the house and began to dismount. Ilmendin and Thaladir were at the porch first, but waited until Thranduil had joined them to offer any formal greetings.

"Thank you, Lord Celeborn, for the invitation to-"

"Oh, enough with that." Thranduil said, interrupting Thaladir as he stepped up to Celeborn and hugged his old friend. "I'm sure you've enough, but we've brought ale with us, and wine." Behind him, Legolas was detaching two small barrels from his mount, and Glorcheniel was helping Gimli from the horse. Ecthelion approached, carrying a crate that undoubtedly contained the wine. Thranduil mouthed `I'm sorry' to Celeborn before turning to regard the dark haired elf. "We picked up an old friend along the way."

"Ecthelion! It has been a long time." Celeborn stepped forward, and Ecthelion grinned, putting the crate down on the snow covered ground.

"Good to see you, Teleporno!" Ecthelion embraced Celeborn and Haldir held his tongue, resisting the urge to comment, knowing there were far too many switches in the vicinity for him to be safe.

"Yes, well, we just call him Celeborn now," Thranduil said, gently pulling Ecthelion off of Celeborn, who hadn't reciprocated with more than a slight pat on Ecthelion's back. "And here, of course, you remember Lhunerin, Galadhon's wife."

Ecthelion bowed low, took Lhunerin's hand, and kissed it. "Most wonderful to see you again, my lady."

"Well, now, that I haven't heard in ages," smiled Lhunerin. "Just Lhunerin, you know that Ecthelion."

"My mother raised me proper, so a lady you shall be," bowed Ecthelion once again. Nearby, Thaladir closed his eyes so that no one would see them roll to the sky.

"How many so far?" whispered Ilmendin so that none of the others could hear.

"Twenty-sev…twenty-eight," Thaladir corrected himself as he opened his eyes and saw Ecthelion hug Haldir after being introduced.

"You poor soul. Let me know if you begin to feel faint when we are inside." Ilmendin strolled to where the majority of the group was and cleared his throat. "Lord Celeborn, we apologize for the addition to our party. Ecthelion was making his way to visit Lord Glorfindel and Master Erestor, but when we explained to him where we were going and that they would be here as well, we did not think you would mind if he were to come along." The truth, more accurately, was that Ecthelion had invited himself, but Ilmendin was too well-raised to say such a thing at the moment.

"Not a problem at all. There is always room for one more," Celeborn forced himself to smile warmly at Ecthelion, and the dark haired elf grinned back.

"It was very kind for my dear old friend to suggest such a splendid idea," agreed Ecthelion.

Celeborn nodded. "Thranduil has always been quite accommodating."

"No, no, `twas not Thranduil's idea," laughed Ecthelion. "Though, I am sure he would have suggested it had he thought of it. Come to think of it, where is Legolas?" Ecthelion looked over his shoulder, seeing that Legolas had stopped dead in his tracks, his eyes locked with Haldir's.

Haldir narrowed his eyes slightly and smirked. "That was most generous of your old friend Legolas. You knew each other in Gondolin, then?"

"Doriath," corrected Ecthelion, before Legolas could cut off the conversation.

"Lhunerin, so good to see you, again," shouted Legolas through the crowd. "Lhunerin, have you met Gimli Gloinson?"

Shaking her head, Lhunerin came forward, and was happily surprised that she had to tilt her head down to see Gimli. "Look, here! An elf my size, finally!" laughed Lhunerin, giving Gimli a pinch to his cheek.

"Oh, well, ah, madam, I'm no elf," said Gimli, blushing slightly.

Lhunerin frowned. "You're in Valinor, aren't you?"

"Well, yes, but-"

"Everyone in Valinor is an elf. Well, not the Maiar, and not the Valar, but for all practical purposes, everyone else is an elf.  Makes things so much simpler than trying to recall who is Noldor and who is Vanyar and who is what else they might be." Lhunerin linked her arm through Celeborn's. "Well, inside, then, we've been out here in the cold long enough!" Everyone more or less nodded in agreement and began to file into the house. Hanging back from the crowd, Haldir stepped into the path before Legolas or Gimli could make it past.

"So…your old friend Ecthelion came along."

Legolas set the barrels down and crossed his arms. "Yes, my old friend Ecthelion came along.  He was an old friend of my father’s, and later friend to me when my father grew up and had a family and Ecthelion chose to retain his youth."

"Ecthelion was from Gondolin. He died at the end of the first age."

"I commend you on your knowledge of historical facts."

"You told me once you were only a little older than my brothers and I."

"Because you'd not have let me play with you if you truly knew how old I was." Behind Legolas, Gimli snorted, trying to hide his amusement. Legolas looked sharply over his shoulder and then back to Haldir. "If you are done-"

"Oh, but I'm not done. I've only just started. I'm not stopping until I find out exactly how old you really are."

"For the sake of the Valar-“ Legolas stomped the three feet it took him to get to Haldir and cupped his hands around his mouth as he leaned toward Haldir's ear. Haldir blinked and his jaw dropped.

"You're how old?"

"I'm not repeating it. And you can't tell anyone," warned Legolas, stepping back. "I'll know if you do."

"But you can't be that old, you don't act it," blurted out Haldir.

Legolas rolled his eyes. "Not a century has passed without Thaladir reminding me of that. Now, if you'd be so kind?" Legolas motioned to the blocked path. Haldir moved out of the way, retrieving the crate Ecthelion had left in the snow as he shook his head.

Reaching the door, he glanced back at Legolas. "Are you sure that's how old you are?"

"And not a word to anyone about it!" called Legolas.

"And what is the penalty if I should let someone else know?" smirked Haldir.

"You don't want to know." Legolas answered darkly, and for some reason Haldir decided he didn't as he entered the house.

"I can't believe I came to the West for this," Legolas said, still watching the door where Haldir had retreated into the house and wondering how long it would take before Haldir let the number slip. "Come, Master Elf."

Gimli looked around, realizing he was the only other one left on the front lawn. "So I'm to be an elf now?" asked Gimli, brow raised as he picked up one of the barrels of ale.

Continued...