Galadriel glided across the sand to the log Haldir had taken to since the ladies arrived on the shores. "You are easy to find, ion nin. You will wear the log out if you do not leave it now and then," she said, trying to lighten the mood.
"Tell me what it is you are keeping from me, Nana. I am no longer a child and can handle whatever has happened," he answered without even looking up at her.
"No one thinks you are a child and we did not mean to make you feel this way," she said as she sat down next to her son. "It is actually a surprise for you, so please allow us some leniency."
"I am sorry, Nana. I did not realize. It isn’t like the surprise I got on my 3,145th birthday, is it?" He asked warily.
"No, it is nothing like that. But it would not be a surprise if I told you. Would it?" she smiled.
"I guess not." He stated turning his eyes toward the sea. "I dreamed of her again, Nana. My mind is heavy with memories of her. She was my first love, my true love."
"Is, ion nin, not was," Galadriel interrupted in a comforting voice.
Haldir continued, "She was the one person who truly knew my soul, my thoughts, and my moods. She took my soul with her when she left. Then, when she didn’t return..." His voice trailed off.
"It has been so long … too long," he said, his tone grave. "I suppose nothing lasts forever, but what we had was all I ever wanted. We finished each other’s sentences and could read the other's mind. Then Dinendal was abandoned, and when we took him in, it was just like a real family, and now all of that is gone. I used to cry. I hoped it would help cleanse my body and mind of everything. Each proud memory I have of Dinendal, every time Galade and I ever touched … every word that was so deeply imbedded in my soul. I wanted it all driven from my mind. At the time I believed I couldn't cry anymore, that the memories had been washed away with the tears. There were always lingering memories that clung to the hope inside me. Even now, after all this time I close my eyes and pray for rest, but my mind plays tricks on me and I dream about her. My dreams taunt me with what might have been. I was a fool not to bond with her sooner," he continued. Tears glistened in his eyes as he looked briefly at his mother before returning his eyes to the horizon. "I sometimes see the sails of her ship on the horizon. I saw a ship this morning after dreaming of her all night. One cannot fade in Valinor, or I would have done so already, but am I losing my mind, Nana?" he finished.
Galadriel rung her hands nervously as she began to speak. "You are not going mad, ion nin." She took his hand in hers as she said, "You did not imagine a ship on the horizon this morning. It was Erestor, the twins, Legolas, Cel and Alatariel leaving for Middle-earth, and the home Alatariel and Cel recently knew."
"Have the ladies decided to go back?" he asked somewhat confused.
"While they have only been here a short while, they have grown to love all of us and feel they belong here. They feel happy to have found their soul mates and wish for you to be happy as well. However, they blame your sadness and sudden thoughts of Galade on their arrival," she explained tenderly.
He turned abruptly to face her, saying, "I do not blame them, Nana. I am pleased they feel at home with us."
"Cel made you a promise to find a way to bring Galade back to you and she intends to keep it. She and Alatariel took it upon themselves to find a way to go and find her so that she may return to us... to return her to you, Haldir."
"But why did you not tell me Galade was alive, Nana? I do not understand. Did Galade wish to leave me?" he asked.
"No, my son... I do not think it was her will to leave here, never to return. I did not know her to be alive. I could not sense her presence, nor could I far speak her. I felt as you did… that she had passed on to the Halls of Mandos." She paused. "It is my suspicion that the Valar kept this hidden from me. Perhaps you both needed some time to appreciate each other? I do not know for certain."
"I will not deny I wasted much time when I should have told Galade of my love for her and of my need to be with her completely. We should have completed our bonding long ago. If we had, perhaps she would not have gone away," he added sadly. "Do you think they will be able to find Galade and return her to us, Nana?" he asked with hope in his voice.
"I am not certain, ion nin. She has been gone for a long time and we do not know what has happened in her life. Perhaps she has found another mate." Haldir tensed at these words and Galadriel added quickly, "Perhaps not. We can only hope that she will return." She looked down at the sand. "I see nothing in my mirror about this. I have tried many times. All I see is my own reflection," she finished.
"I believe Galade and I were meant to be together and will be together again. I must believe that until they return," he stated. "I fear I will truly go mad if Galade rejects me, Nana," he said, taking his mother’s hands in his.
"Galade would not want you to lose hope, Haldir. We all want to see you happy and will do what we can to help," She said, placing a kiss upon his head. Haldir did not see the tears in his mother’s eyes as she hugged him tightly.
*~*~*~*~*~*
"Cel, are you awake?" Alatariel asked while knocking on Cel’s door.
"Yes," she answered. Moments later the door was opened and Cel walked into the hall. "Let’s go find our elves," she grinned.
They found the twins and Legolas fishing off the bow in a spot shadowed by the sails. Erestor was no where to be seen. "Sit here by me meleth nin," Legolas said, motioning to the seat next to him.
"I don’t fish," Cel said as she sat down next to Legolas. He smiled as he recast his line and shook his head that she didn’t have to partake.
"Come here by us, meleth min," the twins said in unison.
"Just so you know, I do not like fishing," Alatariel said, sitting in between the twins. "I don’t know if elleths do, but fishing is not for me."
"It’s simple. Here, hold this rod for me," Elrohir whispered, handing Alatariel his fishing rod as he ran off in the direction of the cabin. Alatariel stared at the pole she was holding onto, wondering why the elves were speaking so softly.
Of course as luck would have it the rod now in Alatariel’s possession nearly jumped out of her hands. "You have a fish!" Elladan said excitedly.
"Oh, wonderful," Alatariel responded, not sounding very thrilled about it. "You take it," she added, trying to hand the fishing rod to Elladan.
"Pull the fish in, meleth," he said, stepping behind her to help her pull the fish in. Soon the poor creature was dangling from the line that was hanging from Elladan’s hand. Elladan was trying to show Alatariel how to remove the hook from the thrashing fish when she shouted at him, "This fish won’t hold still!" Legolas cringed and glanced over his shoulder, quickly reeling in his line and kicking the tackle under a bench.
Elrohir heard the screams and rushed to see what the problem was, but he was not the only one. As Erestor stepped into view, the fish triumphantly pulled free and escaped back into the sea. "What in the name of Arda?"
"Sorry, didn’t mean to scare anyone," apologized Alatariel. "Elladan was just trying to help me remove the fish from the hook, but it wouldn’t stop wriggling."
"You’d wriggle, too, if there was something sharp piercing the roof of your mouth. You probably scared the poor fish to death," Erestor said, looking rather disgusted as he peered over the side and searched the water for the fish. Straightening back up, he said, "There is more than enough food on this ship. You do not need to catch fish. I think you will live quite well without fish or meat for a little while," he added.
"I want some fresh fish to have for our noon meal," Legolas argued, sounding a bit like a whining child.
"Oh, poor baby," Cel consoled him teasingly. "I’m with Erestor on this. You do not need to fish. Leave the poor fish alone. I guess you never saw ‘Finding Nemo’, have you?" Then she quickly added, "Of course not, it’s a movie. Nemo was a good little fish and just wanted to go home to his father," she explained. "That fish might have been someone’s child, too."
Alatariel almost laughed but added, "Or a parent!"
At this the twins and Legolas rolled their eyes and cast their fishing rods back into the water. Erestor was beginning to look especially perturbed.
"Oh, so this is how it’s going to be?" Cel glared at Legolas. She stormed off when Legolas just shrugged his shoulders and said, "I just want some fish for lunch. You don’t want me wasting away to nothing, do you?"
Erestor was not giving up as easily as the ladies, especially not when he saw Elladan start to pull in a fish he had just caught. "Let the little fish go. We have plenty of lembas, fruits, and vegetables."
"Not a chance, Erestor. I want this fish for my lunch. Do not interfere," Elladan answered, still pulling in the fish on his rod.
"Do you realize the psychological damage you are causing to that fish?"
"Do you realize the psychological damage caused to us by having to eat rabbit food?"
A foot stamped the deck with great annoyance. "Elladan, I forbid you to fish on my ship! That goes for the rest of you, as well," Erestor announced. He grabbed for the rod which caused Elrohir to come to his twin’s defense. They wrestled over the rod when Alatariel warned, "You are getting a bit close to the edge. Be careful."
Cel had come to see what all the noise was when all of the sudden the boom swung toward the twins and Erestor, knocking all three of them overboard. The ladies were trying very hard not to laugh as they both yelled, "Elves overboard!"
The nearly silent crew came running from their posts, throwing ropes to them as they still argued about the fish. They were quickly pulled back on board. Legolas looked rather mortified and helped Erestor dry himself off, saying, "I am so sorry, Erestor. Are you alright? We will not fish if that is your wish. Honestly."
The twins, having calmed down, were both looking ashamed to see a sopping wet Erestor growling as he peeled off his dripping tunic. One of the members of the crew stepped forward to take it from Erestor so that he could wring out his dark hair over the side of the ship. Elrohir timidly said, "We are sorry, Erestor. We did not mean for that to happen. Please do not tell father."
Erestor stormed off, calling over his shoulder, "Lunch will be served in the kitchen shortly. " As an afterthought he added, "There will be no fish."
*~*~*~*~*~*
After lunch Cel and Legolas helped with the clean up as the twins and Alatariel went on deck to take some lembas, fruit, and drinks to the crew who had not come to the galley to eat. They did not wish to disturb Erestor, still sulking in his captain’s quarters. The crew ate quickly before returning to their duties. "Alatariel, would you mind taking this tray to Erestor?" Elrohir asked pleadingly. When she hesitated, he added, "Erestor likes you better than us at the moment, so you had better be the one to take it."
"Only because I didn’t throw him overboard," she teased.
"He’ll likely throw us overboard if we try to see him," Elladan said. "Not without good cause," he added sheepishly.
"Oh, alright, I will take the tray back, but do stay out trouble while I am gone," she said laughing.
"Thank you, meleth min," Elladan told her.
Alatariel approached the cabin at the back of the ship cautiously, knocking with care as she held the tray. After a few moments without an answer, she tried the handle and found it unlocked. "Hello?"
Peeking in, she saw Erestor sitting on a cushioned bench staring out a window that faced the west. He turned his head to acknowledge her and then looked back out of the window again.
"I brought some food for you. No fish," she added with a little laugh. She noted Erestor’s smirk as she set the tray down and further ventured, "They really didn’t mean any harm by it."
"I know," sighed Erestor. His eyes didn’t leave the window as they continued to move swiftly across the water.
"You look lonely," commented Alatariel. "Do you want to talk to someone?"
Shaking his head, Erestor picked up a pear from the tray and rolled it back and forth in his hand. Alatariel began to retreat, but then turned back and said, "You know, you might feel alone, but you don’t have to be alone. I doubt the twins or Legolas are going to go fishing anymore. Perhaps we can play a game or something," she suggested.
Smiling, Erestor said, "Thank you, but I must concentrate on getting us safely across the sea." He looked to the window again, biting into his pear. Alatariel stepped up to the door, placing her hand on the handle.
"There’s a part of me," he said suddenly, causing Alatariel to turn, "over that horizon. A part of me still in Valinor and it hurts a little more each time I leave." His sad eyes settled upon Alatariel as he said quietly, "I think this may be my final voyage. My heart cannot stand the strain of what I do. And it isn’t fair to the one I’ve left in Valinor, not fair at all," he added to himself.
Alatariel walked back to Erestor and gently gave him a hug, somewhat startling the elf. "Fear not," she said. "It shouldn’t be that difficult to find Wisconsin."
*~*~*~*~*~*
As the sun began to show the first signs of setting, Cel and Legolas settled on the observation deck. Erestor had instructed the crew to place a large canvas tarp over it to shade the ladies from the sun. He did not wish to undo the healing Elrond and the others had taken such care to give, and was testing the ropes that held the shield in place. He seemed less upset about earlier events, but there was a certain unease that radiated from him the further they traveled from Valinor.
Legolas waited until Erestor moved around to the side furthest from Cel and himself before squeezing her hand to get her attention. "I feel this time will be good for us," he said quietly to Cel. "We have so much to discover about one another."
"I agree," Cel remarked. "Obviously our lives have been very different, so there is much we will need to do to blend our lives together."
"I am willing to do what is necessary to win your love," Legolas blushed in spite of his bold words.
"It is not a matter of winning my love, Legolas, for you already have my heart," she smiled. "Somehow I knew I loved you before I met you."
The twins interrupted the pair. "Good afternoon, Cel. Legolas, can we speak with you a moment?" Elladan asked politely.
"Of course. Will you excuse me, meleth nin?" he asked Cel. "I will only be a moment."
"I will wait here, then," she answered.
The twins led Legolas away from Cel to an alcove so that they might have more privacy. When they checked to be sure the area was indeed secure, Elrohir reddened and nodded to Elladan. "We plan to make love to Alatariel this night." Elladan stated plainly. "Do you think it is too soon?"
"I cannot say what your heart feels or when the time is right. That is something you must decide for yourselves. You will know if she is ready. Follow your heart and not your elfhood," he laughed.
"It is true we lust for her, but... " Elladan’s voice faded.
"We wish to make her ours," Elrohir finished. "We have never felt this strongly about another. Ever."
"I do not doubt your intentions," Legolas said. "I only remind you this is a very important decision for you to make. You are sure?" he asked. Elrohir nodded his head. "Both of you?" Legolas pressed. Elladan nodded now as well. "Then do not worry. All will be well."
Elladan and Elrohir smiled at one another, and after each of them said their farewells, began to walk in the direction of the stairs that led down to the cabins. Legolas frowned suddenly and called out to them, motioning that they should return. More seriously than he had spoken before he asked in a low voice, "Did you come to the ship prepared? Have you brought oils for bathing?" he asked.
The twins glanced warily at one another before looking back to Legolas.
"If you have them, keep them on hand. They can be used in your lovemaking, to ease things a bit. If you do not have any, I –"
"We have," they replied quickly and in unison.
Legolas nodded. "That was all I wondered. I do not wish to keep you," he said with a smile and a wink.
"Honestly, Legolas," said Elrohir, "is this idea good or bad?"
"That isn’t a question I can answer. Let your heart guide you and all will be well," Legolas said placing a hand on each twin’s shoulder.
"Hannon lle, Legolas," they answered.
"Please do not tell Cel or she will tell Alatariel of our plans," begged Elrohir.
"I will not betray your trust," said Legolas before walking back to where he had left Cel.
*~*~*~*~*~*
Cel had jumped up from her chair and was leaning precariously over the railing when Legolas rushed to grab her. She was talking in a high-pitched voice much like an excited child. "Oh, look! Whales... belugas!" she squealed.
"What? Where? What’s a beluga?" he asked.
"There!" Pointing at the object in the water, she added, "It’s the white whale."
She started removing her dress, looking down at the water with anticipation, as if she were planning to jump in. "By the Valar! What are your intentions?" Legolas asked, grabbing her around the waist and holding her tight. "Truly, you do not plan on jumping overboard ... do you?"
"Grab my life jacket so I can swim with them!" she said, getting more excited.
"I will not!" he yelled.
Erestor and the others ran to see what Cel was screaming about. "Alatariel, look! Belugas! Let’s swim with them!" she squealed.
"You must not disturb the pod, meldis." Erestor said firmly. "The Valar would not take kindly to you interfering with nature."
"I promise not to tell them if you don’t," she said, trying to push Legolas’ arms from her waist, but they did not budge.
Erestor gave her a thoroughly amused look and shook his head. "No one is swimming with the whales."
"What!?" Cel tried again to pull away from Legolas, finally sighing and slumping against him. "I love whales! I won’t hurt them. PLEASE?" Cel asked. "I have a great respect for animals and nature."
"Just a short swim, perhaps? She has a special bond with animals, Erestor," Alatariel pleaded.
"As do I, but I must say no. We cannot slow down or it will take us much longer to reach our destination," Erestor said more sternly. After a long pause, he looked over his shoulder to the west and said, "It would take us much longer to return to Valinor."
"Come on, Cel," prodded Alatariel, walking to a bench near the edge but safely behind the rail. "We can get an excellent view from right here, and best of all, we won’t get wet!" Cel frowned, but joined Alatariel on the bench to watch the whales frolic alongside the ship as the elves continued their journey on the sea.