Dinif en Qualen
Beneath the Face of Indifference
by Morgana

Part 1

The sky was growing dark and Erestor buried himself deeper in the warm comfort of his velvet cloak, pulling the hood over his head as first raindrops descended onto their heads. "I told you we should have stayed another day at Caras Galadhon, enjoying Celeborn's hospitality, but you had to leave today." His tone was calm as always, but a hint of irritation still showed.

Glorfindel studied the threatening clouds, which seemed to devour the sun. Those clouds made him feel apprehensive; heavier rain would fall shortly. The wind was also gaining in strength and ruffled his golden hair. He hated to admit it, but Erestor was right; they should have stayed at Lothlorien another day. But he couldn't openly admit to being wrong. Erestor would never let it go and harass him for the next few days, and over the years he had learned to be careful around the raven-haired advisor.

Erestor's sharp tongue was more dangerous than a Morgul blade. He had learned that the hard way, often being ridiculed or chided by the Noldorin Elf. Erestor was intelligent and cunning, but building a friendship with him had been impossible so he usually kept his distance. But now that they were traveling together he had no other choice than to converse with the other Elf.

Glorfindel never considered replying, or even worse, admitting he had made a mistake. Who needed enemies with a 'friend' like Erestor? Glorfindel shivered as the rain came pouring down on them. The earth beneath their feet was turning into mud, making it hard for their horses to maintain their pace for it was forcing them to slow down.

"We should seek shelter before thunder and lightning come crashing down on us," said Erestor, studying the grey and black clouds. He didn't expect Glorfindel to reply, knowing the blond detested his company. He even suspected Glorfindel had tried to convince Elrond to send someone else in his place, Lindir perhaps, but the Ruler of Imladris had not given in, sending the two of them.

Erestor sighed softly. He could have done without Glorfindel's company as well. Now he had to be alert the entire time, and could never let down his guard. "Maybe we will take shelter in a cave, should we encounter one?" Glorfindel still remained silent, and Erestor glanced at the blond. Glorfindel's lips were a narrow line now and his blue eyes had darkened ominously. Maybe it was time to stop talking.

Glorfindel continued to ignore Erestor, but he took the raven-haired Elf's advice and searched for shelter. They couldn't stay out in the open much longer. A thunderstorm echoed in the distance, but would probably reach them in just a few minutes. The rain whipped down onto them, soaking their cloaks, and the horses grew restless as well.

Erestor glared at the blond, but Glorfindel was busy searching his surroundings. He was tempted to repeat his earlier comments, but bit his bottom lip instead. If the storm really broke loose then they might need each other, and he didn't want to alienate Glorfindel any farther.

"We will look for shelter," said Glorfindel eventually, just waiting for Erestor to gloat and make a condescending remark, but the advisor remained silent. Surprised, almost expecting a trap, Glorfindel looked at his traveling companion. Erestor looked extremely uncomfortable; water dripped down the hood and slid down the black tresses, dripping onto his velvet cloak again. And although he was soaking wet as well, he realized it was worse for Erestor, who usually sat in a warm study.

"Finally," groaned Erestor, cringing when thunder erupted over their heads. "Now all we have to do is find a cave or cabin." And what were the odds of them finding one of those?

A strong gust of wind nearly knocked Erestor off his horse, and he held on tightly to the saddle. "We need to get out of this storm!" The wind roared and the thunder exploded, and Erestor was forced to raise his voice and scream. "It will sweep us away!"

Glorfindel nodded sharply. There was no use in denying the truth. "Just hold on tightly."

Darkness descended onto them, smothering the last ray of sunlight that tried to pierce the black blanket which had now settled between the Elves and the sun. Glorfindel held onto his cloak when the gale almost blew it from his shoulders.

"Any shelter in sight?" enquired Erestor in an urgent tone. The pouring rain hit his face hard and he quickly lowered his head, hiding within his hood. He would never admit it to Glorfindel, but he was growing scared. In his long life he had witnessed a number of storms, but none had grown as quickly as this one and it was still gaining in strength!

"Nothing yet," replied Glorfindel, annoyed that he couldn't find any shelter. But what worried even more was the swaying of the branches above their heads. He prayed to Elbereth that the lightning wouldn't strike into one of those trees. If it did, they might be crushed beneath the massive branches.

Erestor now looked up as well. The trees, strongly rooted in the earth, swayed dangerously, and one branch after another was torn off the trunk. Holding his breath, he stared at the unfolding mayhem around them. They were in a life-threatening situation! If only Glorfindel would admit that and act accordingly!

A strong wind pushed back his hood, revealing his stricken face at the exact moment when Glorfindel looked at him. Embarrassed, he averted his eyes. He didn't want Glorfindel to know he was scared!

Glorfindel was tempted to make a remark about the fear in Erestor's eyes, but didn't get the chance. A loud and frightening roar swelled behind them, and looking behind Erestor, he froze.

Erestor, seeing the shocked stare in Glorfindel's eyes, looked over his shoulder. He had heard the ominous noise as well and his eyes widened, realizing a flood was heading toward them. Somewhere a dam must have broken, releasing large amounts of water. The wind only added to its power, whipping the flood on.

"We are in its direct path!" realized Glorfindel, worried. The horses had seen the threat as well and reared, afraid. Glorfindel frantically looked up, searching for an escape route. "There is nowhere we can go!" They were trapped and the water was closing in on them.

A flash of lightning lit up the sky and hit an overhanging cliff. Large rocks were shaken loose and began to fall. Glorfindel, realizing the great danger they were in, grabbed Erestor's reins and pushed his heels into Asfaloth's sides, urging him on.

Erestor held on to his saddle for dear life, letting Glorfindel take control of the situation. Behind them, huge rocks tumbled down the cliff, and dropped heavily into the water. They had just escaped one danger when another caught up with them. Cold snuck up on him from behind and he didn't have to look over his shoulder to know that the flood had reached them. "Glor..."

The water thrashed onto him, drowning his words and pulling him from his horse. For the briefest of moments he managed to make eye contact with Glorfindel, just before the water completely covered him. Struggling against the powerful mass of water, he reached the surface again and saw how Glorfindel was pulled from his horse as well. No matter what happened next, he had to make sure he stayed close to the blond. Only together could they survive.

Glorfindel swallowed some of the bitter water and he spat out the rest. The powerful wave of water seemed to play with him, tossing him from one side to the other. His eyes searched for Erestor, recalling that the dark-haired Elf had gone down first. Seeing a patch of dark in the water, he assumed it was Erestor and tried to move towards him.

Erestor saw Glorfindel move toward him, but he also saw the rock that doomed out of the water behind the blond. Glorfindel, however, whose back was turned toward the rock, didn't see it, and Erestor yelled a warning.

Glorfindel never heard that warning as another wave rolled over him. It flung him against the rock and a stabbing pain swept through his legs, rendering him unconscious in seconds. Never realizing what had happened, Glorfindel was pulled beneath the surface, releasing his last breath.

Erestor's heart missed several beats, seeing Glorfindel being pulled under, and quickly dived after him. The power of the water tried to throw him off course, but he persevered and managed to grab Glorfindel's cloak. But the blond's dead weight pulled him along and he was no match against the swirling water. The fabric of the Elda's cloak slipped from his fingers and frustrated, he flung himself forward, trying to find the blond again.

Suddenly something sharp pushed against his stomach, broke the skin and... Erestor, caught by surprise, raised his arms, trying to remain at the surface. A sharp object had pierced the skin of his abdomen and was now forcing itself a way inside. His eyes had widened, but his scream was silenced by the roaring flood.

Instinctively he placed a hand over the injured area and his fingertips quickly identified the object piercing his stomach; it was a branch. Agony spread from his abdomen through the rest of his body, waves of pain that nearly robbed him of his consciousness.

Glorfindel? Where was the blond? Was he injured as well? He needed to find Glorfindel as quickly as possible. The burgundy of Glorfindel's cloak showed through the water, and, whilst biting down his anguish, he dived into the flood again, this time grabbing hold of Glorfindel's tunic. Now that he had the blond, he wasn't going to let go again, and he folded one arm around him.

Using his last bit of strength, he struggled toward the rocks. He had no idea how he managed to push Glorfindel onto the slippery rocks, but he did. Panting hard, he wrestled himself free of the water and collapsed onto the rock as well, next to Glorfindel.

Worried that the other wasn't reacting, Erestor gently rolled Glorfindel onto his back. A load moan full of agony left the Elda's lips, and when Erestor studied Glorfindel's form, he felt shocked at seeing the way the blond's legs were twisted. Were they broken? Both of them?

Erestor groaned and pushed his hand tighter against his abdomen, realizing he couldn't count on Glorfindel to take them into safety. The Elda was unconscious and couldn't even walk. It was now up to him to keep them alive. He doubted that he was up to that challenge when he doubled over due to the stinging pain in his stomach.

"Glorfindel?" Kneeling next to the blond, he shook Glorfindel's shoulder. "Wake up!" He couldn't possibly carry the Elda into safety! His stomach injury wouldn't allow that! "Glorfindel!"

Erestor's urgent tone finally registered with the trained warrior and Glorfindel fought himself back to awareness, but then a terrible pain attacked him. Agony ripped through his legs, pooling in his knees.

"Glorfindel!"

Realizing Erestor was kneeling next to him, he managed to make eye contact. The Noldorin Elf looked wretched, but coherent. "Eres... stor... I..." He never managed to finish his sentence as agony overwhelmed him, pushing him back into darkness.

"No, you cannot faint! I need your guidance! I am no warrior!" He was a scholar; how could he possibly take care of them? Especially when he was wounded as well?

Throwing back his head, he glared angrily at the dark skies, which continued to release impossible amounts of rain. "Why? Why me? Why now?" Despair enveloped him momentarily, but he shook it off, refusing to give in to the dark feeling. No, he was stronger than that. He could manage. He would take Glorfindel into safety and take care of him. Never before had he given up and he wasn't going to start now!

With grim determination he hooked his hands behind Glorfindel's back and hauled the blond onto his knees, then draped him over his shoulder. Getting to his feet was one of the hardest tasks he had ever faced, but his inner strength pulled him through.

Erestor searched his surroundings with his eyes, trying to find a cave or tree that would provide them with some shelter. His abdominal pain was increasing, making it nearly impossible for him to lift his feet. Glorfindel's weight was also putting pressure on his stomach and he lost his footing in the mud.

Tightening his hold on Glorfindel, he took the impact on himself and nearly fainted from the pain consuming him. "I refuse to give up now." Erestor pushed himself to his feet and spotted something dark to his right. Was it a cave? Could he be that lucky?

He concentrated on placing one foot in front of the other and slowly covered the distance to the cave. Just when he had reached it, the rain stopped. Erestor glared at the clouds, which were now traveling west, and entered the cave, eager to lay down his charge.

At the back of the cave, he slowly placed Glorfindel on the cold earth. Their clothes were still soaking wet and Erestor wished he had never left Imladris, staying warm instead. But wishful thinking wouldn't get him anywhere. Probing Glorfindel's leg, he froze when the blond released a keening wail whilst examining his knees.

"Broken." He studied the blond. "What do I do now? I cannot carry you all the way back to Imladris." But Glorfindel depended on him to get him back to the Last Homely House. "What do I do now?"

His head bowed, and hand pressed against his injury, he considered his options. Carrying Glorfindel was out of the question. Maybe he should try to find the horses? Then he could build a litter and have the horse pull it whilst he rode it? That might work. Now that he had some sort of plan he felt better, stronger. He always needed a goal to work toward. It had saved his sanity in the past and it would now help him survive again.

"Find the horses, build a litter and take Glorfindel back to Imladris." Imladris, he registered bitterly, and never home. But it was not the time to dwell on this now and he sat back, leaning against the rocky wall. He carefully probed his wound. His features contorted, discovering a hooked branch had nestled in his abdomen. Was it safe to remove it? Or should he leave it there?

"I cannot leave it in there." There was dirt and grass clinging to it. If he left it there it would only cause more infections. Wrapping his fingers tightly around the branch, he swallowed hard, steadying himself. He had survived worse pain; he could do this! Gritting his teeth, he removed the branch, flinging the bloodied wood into the far corner of the cave. Blood gushed from the wound and he used some strips of his cloak to bind it, hoping the bleeding would stop in time.

If not... He could only hope Glorfindel wouldn't notice the red stain that was already forming on his shirt. The last thing he wanted was for the Elda to point out to him how stupid he had been to get injured. His father had been like that, always... No, he didn't want to think about this now and should focus on Glorfindel instead.

Frustrated that every inch of his cloak was still soaked, he wrung it, trying to remove as much water as possible before shredding it into strips. He used those to bandage Glorfindel's legs and especially his knees, hoping the support would lessen the agony the blond would be in upon waking.

Once he had finished, he rested his back against the wall again. He longed to lie down, but didn't dare to actually do it, afraid he might not get to his feet again later. Distressed, he stared at Glorfindel, relieved the Elda wasn't awake whilst he was experiencing a panic attack. His breathing quickened, his eyes widened and he clawed the fabric of his shirt whilst his other hand continued to press against his wound.

"Find the horses, build a litter and take him back to Imladris," he repeated, making it his mantra. After long moments he finally calmed down again. "I can do this. I have been in worse situations. I can do this."

Looking at the entrance of the cave, he found that the rain had started again, but it no longer resembled the storm they had been caught in. He would catch his breath and then venture out again, hoping at least one the horses had remained close. And he also had to build that litter! He needed to gather branches for that, and some strong grass to bind the branches together.

Erestor pushed himself to his feet. He shouldn't postpone building the litter, for he was afraid his wound might grow infected after all. When he had removed the branch, he had seen that dirt still clung to the wound.

He placed his hand against the wall, using it to guide and support him whilst he walked toward the entrance. Relieved, he noticed that it was no longer raining and he stepped outside.

The valley was a complete mess. Trees had been ripped up by their roots and had been spread throughout the valley. Rocks, which had tumbled from the cliff, lay haphazardly in the torrent's path. He could hardly believe that a violent flood had turned this lovely rivulet into a murderous deluge. It had almost taken their lives. Nature would always be unpredictable.

He looked east, to where Imladris lay, and reckoned it would take them two or three days to reach Elrond's realm where the healer could tend to their injuries.

"You are wasting precious time, standing here," Erestor chided himself. After fighting down another wave of nauseating pain, he whistled softly, hoping his mare would hear him and follow the sound which would lead her here. "Amdir, hear me, and come to me." If the mare heard him, she would answer his call. Throughout his entire life he had placed more faith in animals than his fellow Elves. Animals never judged him, never withheld their love and affection, and he could return that friendship. Amdir was precious to him and he hoped she had survived as well.

Realizing that it would take Amdir time to get here - and that was if she had heard him - he set out to gather branches that were strong enough to support Glorfindel. As expected, most of the wood was wet, and he carried it back to the cave.

He sat down awkwardly, ignoring his pain, and looked at Glorfindel. Over long years the Elda had gained his respect, though he would never admit it aloud. Glorfindel was loyal and seldom avoided his company, which was far from pleasant at times. He knew Glorfindel disliked his sharp tone and remarks that could be haughty at times, but he couldn't change a habit that had helped him survive.

"I never was a good friend -- not even a friend," said Erestor softly, "But I vow to take you back to Imladris. I won't let you die here. Glorfindel, the Balrog slayer, does not deserve to die like this." New determination was born, hearing his promise aloud. "I will look after you."

Glorfindel moaned softly. Something was disturbing his peaceful sleep and pain was pulling him toward consciousness again. As he slowly became aware of his surroundings, the pain became very real as well. Whimpering, he tried to establish what had happened, and then he remembered the flood.

"Easy, Glorfindel, easy. Your legs are broken, and you need to preserve your strength for later."

Erestor's voice took him off guard and his wide eyes focused on the raven-haired Elf, who looked like a drowned cat. "Bro... ken?" he stuttered in shock. Seeing Erestor nod, he tried to recall more. The flood must have dragged him along, throwing him against the rocks like a rag doll. How had he gotten into this cave then?

"Erestor?" Frowning, he made eye contact with the other Elf, and was surprised when Erestor averted his eyes. "You went in after me?"

Erestor felt distinctly uncomfortable, but managed to hide it when looking at Glorfindel. "I did not have a choice. I cannot possibly return to Imladris without you. Elrond would never forgive me."

The words were like a cold shower to Glorfindel. He had been a fool to believe Erestor cared about his well-being! Erestor was as cold as ice and would never express any warm feelings of concern and compassion. He forced himself to concentrate on their situation, refusing to linger on his feelings. "Do we still have the horses?"

Erestor shook his head. "We lost them in the flood." His stomach painfully contracted around the wound and he bit his lip, trying to not scream out his pain. Glorfindel was glaring at him and he hung onto his composure, unwilling to let his agony show. "But maybe Amdir will return. I called out to her."

Now that was another thing that puzzled Glorfindel. When Elrond had given Erestor that white mare, the gloomy adviser had called her 'Hope'. He still wondered about that name. Pulling himself away from his musings, he tried to shift slightly, but pain shot up his leg, making him whimper in agony.

"Move as little as possible. I bound it tightly, but the broken bones need time to heal." Erestor, concerned at hearing Glorfindel's strangled whimper, leaned in closer and searched the blue eyes. "I am gathering wood to build a litter."

Glorfindel was stunned to see concern in Erestor's dark eyes. It was the first hint of emotion he had ever seen in those brooding orbs. But he shook it off; it was probably just his imagination. "What use is a litter when we do not have a horse to pull it?" He realized he had said the wrong thing when Erestor's gaze darkened.

"I am doing the best I can!" said Erestor in a painfully clipped tone. His wound was throbbing, sending violent vibrations through his body, but he concealed them, unwilling to show any weakness right now. "Why do you not rest whilst I take care of matters?" He cringed privately. That sounded much harsher than he had intended.

Glorfindel glared at Erestor. How many times had he hoped the raven-haired Elf would let go of his harsh attitude? Why couldn't Erestor reach out just once? They needed to support each other! "Fine, I will rest!" He immediately regretted playing along. This was probably just what Erestor wanted! Why did he always allow Erestor to provoke him like that?

He frowned slightly, seeing the amount of time it took Erestor to get back to his feet. Deep lines showed on the Noldorin Elf's face and he had never seen them there before. But then he dismissed his concern. Erestor's clothes were still wet and probably making it hard to move around.

Erestor walked over to the pile of wood he had gathered, sat down and used the dry branches to build a small fire. Then he began to separate the branches he could use and the ones that were worthless. He felt Glorfindel staring at him, but refused to acknowledge that.

Glorfindel, now staring at Erestor's back, frowned. Something seemed wrong with the other Elf, but he couldn't label the feeling. The fact that pain spiraled up his legs wasn't making coherent thought any easier either. But he didn't want to let this dark feeling grow between them. "You were right."

Hearing Glorfindel's voice, Erestor looked over his shoulder. "About what?" He felt somewhat suspicious; Glorfindel had never admitted he had been right about anything. Why start now?

"We should have stayed another day at Caras Galadhon." Glorfindel carefully watched Erestor, wondering what was eluding him.

Erestor cleared his throat. Glorfindel had actually managed to surprise him. He was tempted to say 'I told you so', but he didn't. "You could not have known about that storm. This was not your fault." It was a strange thing, but he was actually getting used to the pain.

Glorfindel was baffled at hearing Erestor's mellow answer; he had expected a sneer. Then the pain ripped through him again, making him groan in agony. As he was still looking Erestor in the eyes, he saw another wave of concern course through the dark orbs. It is amazing, he is actually worried about me!

Erestor dragged himself to his feet, relieved to feel his wound go numb. Leaning against the wall, he said, "Rest now. Once our journey starts you will need your strength."

Knowing Erestor was right, Glorfindel nodded. He wasn't looking forward to the painful experience of being dragged to Imladris on a litter. "Erestor?" Seeing the familiar, distant expression in the other's eyes once more, he swallowed hard, wondering if he had just imagined the concern in them. "Thank you for coming after me." Privately, he admitted, I never thought you would.

Erestor was growing increasingly worried; the bleeding still hadn't stopped and warm blood was seeping through his fingers. "We are safe here for the moment. Rest."

Unable to stay awake much longer, Glorfindel gave into the pain and returned to the soothing darkness that had cradled him earlier.

Erestor barely managed to stay on his feet and leaned heavily against the wall. "Elbereth, what am I supposed to do?" He had fought off despair for so long, but now that everything seemed utterly hopeless he hung his head in defeat.

Part 2

Unexpectedly, the sound of hooves and a joyous whinny echoed through the air. Erestor's head snapped up, and looking to his right appeared the most welcome scene he had ever seen; Amdir. The white mare was galloping toward him, and a moment later a warm noose was pressed against his shoulder, nudging him. "Be careful, my friend." Although the pain had numbed, the blood continued to seep through his fingers.

Amdir had her head up, ears forward, somehow sensing that the Elf was in pain.

Erestor reached for the bag, which he had attached to his saddle when they had left Lothlorien, thankful that it was still there. Opening the bag, he checked its content. There were two wafers of lembas, water, a knife and a handful of dried herbs which he sometimes used when he couldn't sleep. He kept the knife and placed the other items back in the bag.

"Amdir... stay here. I will need you later." The horse snorted, showing she had understood.

Erestor returned to the cave, and, using his knife, he cut the branches to their desired length. He had selected long, narrow leaves to bind the branches with and during the next hour he was busy constructing the litter. When he was ready he tested its strength, and hoped it would hold Glorfindel throughout their long journey back to Imladris.

Wanting to rise to his feet, he found that the pain had returned. For the last hour he had been unable to press tightly against the wound, and his tunic was now drenched with blood. Pulling his cloak tighter, he walked over to Glorfindel. "You have to wake up."

Glorfindel stirred at the sound of Erestor's voice and locked eyes with the dark-haired Elf, who looked utterly exhausted. He felt slightly guilty for being unable to help, knowing Erestor had to feel lost, even if the other didn't admit it. His eyes drifted through the cave and came to rest on the litter. It looked fragile and he was tempted to laugh at Erestor's effort, but bit down his laughter. Erestor had constructed this litter for him and he should be thankful that the other Elf was trying to get them back to Imladris.

Erestor correctly interpret Glorfindel's look. "It does not look like much, but it is stronger than you think... It will hold." He had expected taunting laughter, but the blond remained quiet. "And Amdir returned."

Glorfindel smiled, bemused. Hope seemed an appropriate name for the mare after all. "We should... not waste... any time." Glorfindel tried to push himself to his feet, but collapsed in pain. Erestor would have to carry him to the litter. Glorfindel hated being helpless.

Erestor knew Glorfindel would never ask for help so he walked over to the blond, gritted his teeth, and hauled the Elda onto his shoulder.

Glorfindel's eyes widened in shock as a horrible pain sliced through his legs. It overwhelmed him and he fainted, and was now a limp weight draped over Erestor's shoulder.

Erestor felt Glorfindel go limp and quickly carried him to the litter, gently laying him down. Once the weight was off his shoulder, he pressed his hand against his abdomen in a vague attempt to lessen the bleeding. How much blood had he already lost? How much more could he afford to lose?

"Amdir?" Calling the mare, he waited for her to step into the cave. Using his last strength, he raised the litter and attached it to the two long branches that made up the horse's harness. After securing it with his belt across her chest, he led Amdir out of the cave. He had planned to ride the horse, but now realized there was no way he would make it onto her back. Even if he did, he would never get down again. He was doomed to walk back to Imladris.

When Glorfindel woke next, the sun blinded him and he had to shield his eyes. The motion of the litter sent waves of pain through his legs, but he refused to show the agony he was in. Cocking his head, he caught sight of Erestor walking next to the litter, eyes fixed on the ground. Occasionally the dark haired Elf stumbled and groaned pitifully. Annoyed, Glorfindel frowned. Erestor thought walking was tiresome? He should try having two broken legs instead! Then he would be entitled to groan!

"Would you like some water?"

Erestor's soft voice made him feel guilty for his previous thoughts; maybe he was being too hard on Erestor. "Do you... have some?"

"Aye." Erestor opened the bag again and removed the water flask. After handing it to Glorfindel, he returned to staring at the ground. Every step he took caused more agony in his abdomen, but he couldn't stop walking now. If he did, he would never be able to start again.

"Why don't you... ride the horse?" suggested Glorfindel, sipping his water.

"I prefer to walk," whispered Erestor darkly.

Glorfindel raised an eyebrow, recognizing that tone; Erestor wasn't interested in carrying on a conversation. It was growing dark; they would have to stop shortly and seek shelter. "Maybe they will realize... we are late... and send a search party."

"We are not expected back for another two days." Erestor secretly exchanged one corner of his tunic for the other, pressing dry cloth against the wound. He was growing increasingly light-headed and worried how much longer he would remain conscious.

"We should stop for the night," said Glorfindel, puzzled by Erestor's behavior. The Noldorin Elf was extremely quiet, ignored him and was constantly staring at the ground. Recalling his former worries, he tried to figure out what was wrong with Erestor, but failed.

"We won't stop... We cannot afford to rest." Erestor rested one hand on Amdir's back, slightly leaning against the warm body. "If we keep up this pace, we will reach Imladris the day after tomorrow."

"Do we have enough food... and water?" Erestor's determination surprised him. He had expected Erestor to panic, not to assume control like this.

"I will ration the little we have." Erestor wished Glorfindel would stop ask questions. It was taking all of his concentration to continue walking.

Glorfindel's unease was still growing. Something about Erestor's behavior set off his alarms and he wished he had the courage to bring it up. But Erestor would probably laugh at his worry. It was best to remain quiet.

Arien set and Ithil rose, illuminating the dark sky. Glorfindel dozed off eventually, trusting Erestor to watch out for them.

Once he was sure Glorfindel was asleep, Erestor told Amdir to stop and he heavily leaned against the mare. "I cannot... do... this any more." The bleeding had finally stopped, but he felt like he didn't have a single drop of blood left in his body. Fatigue nearly overwhelmed him and recognizing the danger, he started walking again. If he lay down to rest now he might never wake up again.

During the night he swayed several times and Amdir stopped each time, letting the Elf catch up with him. Endless hours passed by until the sun finally rose again. Erestor stared bleary eyed at Arien's rays, no longer able of coherent thought. He depended on Amdir to guide him; the horse knew their destination. He paid no attention to Glorfindel, who was waking up again.

Glorfindel felt disorientated. At first he wondered why he was lying on a litter, but then his memories quickly returned. Looking to his right, he saw that Erestor was still at his side. Amdir was walking faster than Erestor, who was falling back and Glorfindel got his first chance to extensively study the raven-haired Elf.

Long, black tresses framed a deathly pale face, and his large eyes seemed dull and lifeless. Erestor's expression was distant, and he was panting softly, as if in pain. Glorfindel, suddenly alarmed, propped himself up on his elbows. "Erestor...?" When the Elf didn't react, Glorfindel grew truly worried. "Erestor?"

Erestor finally heard his name and raised his head. Glorfindel looked upset, but he had no idea what troubled the blond. "We are... making good time. Hopefully we will reach... Imladris... in the morning."

"Erestor, you look dreadful." Glorfindel studied Erestor, vexed that he couldn't figure out what was wrong.

"Well, thank you... You surely are back to your charming self," sneered Erestor absentmindedly. Reacting like that had become second nature.

For the first time since knowing Erestor, Glorfindel refused to be emotionally pushed away. "I am serious... You look exhausted."

Erestor sighed dejectedly. "I am fine... Do not... worry about me." No one ever worried about him; why should Glorfindel be any different? "I will manage."

Glorfindel shook his head at Erestor's stubbornness. "Why do you always have to fight me? Why not give in to reason and rest?"

Erestor ignored Glorfindel's questions. "Would you like to eat... and drink something? We should manage... with the water and lembas that we have left."

Frustrated, Glorfindel glared at Erestor, but he couldn't deny being hungry and thirsty. "Only if you do the same." Come to think of it, he hadn't seen Erestor eat or drink since the flood.

Erestor nodded slowly and opened the bag again, taking out a wafer of lembas and their drinking water. He handed the lembas to Glorfindel.

Glorfindel's eyes grew big; Erestor's hand was covered in blood! "What?" Alarmed, he grabbed Erestor's wrist and examined the limb, searching for an injury that would explain the blood, but he didn't find a thing. "Where does the blood come from?"

Erestor realized his mistake and stared numbly at Glorfindel. "The wound has... already healed. As I said earlier... do not trouble yourself." He wasn't sure what to make of the expression in Glorfindel's eyes, but he refused to reveal his weakness. "I suggest you eat." He pulled back his wrist, but flinched, as the motion vibrated through his body, causing another wave of pain in his stomach.

"Erestor, tell me what happened!" Glorfindel tried to push himself to his feet, but had to abandon the effort. He lacked the strength and his legs wouldn't support him anyway.

"I cut my arm... when I dived in after you. It bled," he lied in an emotionless tone. "Then the wound... closed."

Glorfindel shook his head. "I do not believe you." Erestor's pallor indicated the Elf had lost a considerable amount of blood. But Erestor pretended to have not heard him and led Amdir down the path. "Erestor... I am trying to help you!"

"I do not need your help," said Erestor calmly. "I can take care of myself. I always did."

Glorfindel wondered why Erestor added that last part, but let it go, knowing he wouldn't elaborate. "Erestor, I am worried." Studying Erestor's slow and stiff movements, he realized the Elf was hiding a serious injury. "I can help."

Erestor remained silent, marching determinedly. Glorfindel's tone was pleading, but he refused to listen.

Glorfindel didn't know how to reach Erestor. He tried to grab Erestor's robes, but the Elf was out of reach. Why did he remain silent? Why did he not tell me he was wounded as well? I know I am practically useless with two broken legs, but I... What? Could have comforted him? Would I have offered him any sympathy? Does he even want it?

Erestor sagged against Amdir, folding one arm around the mare's neck. He hated admitting it, but he needed to rest.

"You know I am right, Erestor. Tell Amdir to stop and let me examine your wound." Erestor had taken care of him, had bandaged his legs, and he wanted to do the same for the dark-haired Elf, if Erestor let him. Erestor halted, and he was finally able to take hold of the other's wrist. He was holding the in blood covered hand in his and waited for Erestor to look at him.

Erestor resignedly met Glorfindel's eyes. Why was the blond pretending to care? He knew only too well that Glorfindel disliked him.

Glorfindel pointed out an overhanging cliff to Erestor. "We can spend the night there... We should not be traveling at night when we cannot defend ourselves."

"You are... the experienced... warrior, so I will... follow your advice."

Erestor's tone made Glorfindel cringe. "I did not mean it like that. I am just concerned about our safety."

Listlessly, Erestor guided Amdir to the location Glorfindel had pointed out to him and slowly went down on his knees, realizing he couldn't hide his weakness any longer. Hanging his head, he tried to not inhale too deeply for it would only wake the pain that lay dormant in his body.

Glorfindel shifted on the litter, but the agony coursing through his legs told him to stay put. "Erestor, come over here. I need to check your wound." He wasn't prepared for the expression in those dark eyes when the Noldorin Elf looked at him. How had Erestor managed to hide his pain for so long? It stared back at him from the depths of the other's dark eyes. "Please?"

Erestor considered dismissing Glorfindel, but knew the blond well enough to know that the Elda would continue to nag. Slowly, on all fours, he crawled over to Glorfindel, and came to a stop next to the litter.

"Show me your injury." Glorfindel raised his hands to probe whatever wound Erestor was hiding, but they dropped back, seeing the bloodstained tunic when the injured Elf finally lifted his cloak. "By Elbereth... you have lost so much blood! How did you manage thus far?" And all this time Erestor had walked next to him, never letting him see his pain!

Reaching for the tunic, he unbuttoned it and pushed it aside. Blood still dripped from the gaping wound, which had turned black. Infections were raging inside the damaged flesh, which had weakened Erestor even farther. "Why did you not tell me?"

"There was... nothing you could do." Erestor involuntarily pulled away from Glorfindel's touch when the blond' fingers tried to probe the wound. "Do not touch me." He quickly covered himself up and pulled the cloak closer to his frame.

"Erestor..." Glorfindel's voice trailed off. Erestor's expression was indifferent, but he thought he saw a lot of hurt hiding beneath it. Who hurt you so badly that you keep everyone at a distance? For the first time in centuries he wondered if Erestor wasn't constantly pretending to be someone he was not. But why would the Elf do such a thing?

"We will leave... at the first rays of dawn," decided Erestor, slowly sitting down on the ground.

Glorfindel nodded in understanding. "Amdir is very loyal to you." He was determined to engage Erestor in some sort of conversation, worried that the Elf had lost so much blood that he could lose consciousness during the night. He wanted to make sure Erestor remained awake and coherent.

"Aye, she is," sighed Erestor, fatigued. Now that he was sitting down he was beginning to feel sleepy.

"Why did you name her hope? I always wondered about that." Glorfindel saw the changing expression in Erestor's eyes and knew he had asked something too personal. Erestor wouldn't answer him. "Fine, remain quiet then."

Erestor closed his eyes momentarily. "I named her hope because..." His voice faded, searching for the right words and still uncertain if he wanted to confide in Glorfindel, which would be a first. "I need to hope... there is still some good left in Arda."

Glorfindel's expression saddened, hearing the lost faith in Erestor's tone. Treading carefully, he said, "Did you encounter much evil then in your life?" He carefully observed Erestor, seeing shivers course through his body. You did.

"Evil?" Erestor shrugged carefully. "I suppose... I did."

"Will you tell me?" Glorfindel involuntarily held his breath, waiting for Erestor to make up his mind.

"I do not think... it will interest you." He felt like he had already given away too much. Maybe he shouldn't have named the horse Amdir, but no one had ever asked why he had chosen that name, until now. "Do you really want to stay here... until morning? If we get moving now... we will reach Imladris earlier."

After studying Erestor, Glorfindel nodded once. "You cannot walk much farther. Maybe you will feel stronger after you slept."

"I cannot... sleep," said Erestor in a neutral tone. "Someone must stand guard... and you cannot defend yourself."

"And you can?" Glorfindel raised an eyebrow at seeing Erestor uncover a knife. His hand went to his side to hand Erestor his sword, but was startled to find it gone. The flood must have taken it. "That knife is our only weapon?"

I still have my sharp tongue, thought Erestor, embittered, but he didn't speak the words aloud. "I know how to use a knife."

Glorfindel recalled he had never seen Erestor wield a sword and was surprised to hear he could defend himself using a knife. Usually the Noldorin Elf stayed clear of all weapons. "You won't rest then?" Erestor finally met his stare and the dark expression made him shiver. Erestor possessed a look that could kill and he had been its target more than once. Only now was he beginning to understand it was a defense mechanism. Why are you hiding? Why keep me at a distance during all these centuries?

"I would prefer for us to move on. We should travel as quickly as possible." Glorfindel's questions tired him. He opened the bag, took out the water and lembas and handed Glorfindel the Elf's share. Looking at Glorfindel he wondered if the blond was in much pain. Hopefully the bandages had steadied the broken bones and took away some of his pain.

Pain... Burying himself in his robes, he tried to forget about the pain that was once more sliding through his stomach. "Why are you... looking at me like that?"

"I just realized that I do not know you at all."

Glorfindel's remark froze the blood in his veins and he quickly averted his eyes, pretending he hadn't heard.

The shock on Erestor's face was easily read and Glorfindel wondered why the other Elf was letting him see his distress in the first place. Normally Erestor would never show any of his feelings. But he is wounded, physically and mentally drained.

An uncomfortable silence settled on them, both trying to figure out the other. Most of the night passed like that, with stolen glances, and muttered questions which were seldom answered. When the morning finally broke, Glorfindel realized it was time to leave their shelter and move on.

"Erestor?" He hated having to wake the raven-haired Elf, who had struggled to stay awake during the night and had only fallen asleep an hour ago. "It is time to leave."

Erestor slowly left his dreams to return to bitter reality where pain assaulted him. Glorfindel seemed to speak to him through a tunnel from a great distance. His head lolled, uncontrolled. "Time... to... leave," stuttered Erestor, trying to push himself to his feet.

Glorfindel's heart went out to the other Elf, who was struggling to get back to his feet. "Let me see your wound first." He had to know if the bleeding had stopped or not.

"That won't... be necessary." Erestor clumsily rose to his feet, and smiled when Amdir nudged him softly. "To Imladris... my friend."

Glorfindel watched the scene unfold with growing disbelief. Erestor had actually smiled. Well, at a horse, but he had smiled! He couldn't remember ever seeing Erestor smile! A lot of emotions were hiding beneath the cool exterior and Glorfindel was determined to find out more about the real Erestor.

Their water was almost gone. There was just enough left for one person and Erestor handed it to Glorfindel, without saying a word about it. He looked away and licked his dry lips, hearing Glorfindel drink.

Glorfindel frowned, realizing he had emptied the flask. Why hadn't Erestor told him that they were running out of water? "You did drink earlier, did you not?" Erestor nodded, but refused to meet his stare, telling Glorfindel all he needed to know. "You did not. Erestor, why did you let me drink our remaining water?"

Erestor didn't have the energy to reply. For the last hour he had moved instinctively, no longer able to stop walking. His sight had diminished and the sounds around him had dampened.

Glorfindel, afraid that Erestor had gone into some sort of shock, grabbed the Elf's hand and saw the fresh blood on it. The wound must have reopened. "Erestor, stop walking!"

Erestor shook his head. "No... must take you...back to Imladris."

Glorfindel growled in frustration, wondering how to stop Erestor. "Listen to me. You are exhausting yourself." Erestor's empty stare alarmed him. "Erestor? Talk to me!"

Glorfindel's upset tone finally got through to Erestor and he blinked once, slowly returning to reality from whatever state he had been in. The blood loss had finally gotten to him.

"Erestor, you have to stop. You cannot go on like this!"

Erestor no longer had the energy to talk to Glorfindel and moved mechanically. His eyes stared at the distance, no longer taking in the sky, clouds or trees. In the end, he collapsed onto his knees, his head slumped and he tumbled forward into a limp heap.

Glorfindel released a shocked yelp and automatically reached for the unconscious Elf, but found Erestor was out of his reach. "No, Erestor!" Cursing his inability to help the Noldorin Elf, he frantically looked about and then screamed for help.

Elrohir and Elladan stared at each other, hearing a howl echo through the valley.

"Someone needs help," said Elrohir, looking about. "It came from over there, behind those hills."

Driving their heels into the flanks of their horses, the twins made speed and quickly reached the hills. A growl, full of frustration, showed them the way and they froze, happening upon Glorfindel and Erestor.

"By Elbereth," whispered Elrohir, shocked at finding them in this state.

"Quickly, help Erestor!" Glorfindel silently thanked the Valar for sending the twins their way. "He has lost too much blood!"

"Blood?" Elladan jumped from his horse and advanced on the fallen counselor.

"We got caught up in a storm. He has a stomach wound." Glorfindel sighed, relieved that Elladan had reached Erestor and was now turning him onto his back.

The oldest twin gasped, horrified at the amount of blood that had drenched Erestor's shirt. But the thing that worried him most was the fact that Erestor's eyes had closed. "We need to take him to Ada!" Elladan made eye contact with his twin, who had reached Glorfindel. "Now!"

"Why do you not take Erestor with you? You can reach Elrond faster without me. The litter will slow you down." Glorfindel didn't want to part from Erestor, but knew it was the sensible thing to do. "Elrohir and I will follow."

The twins exchanged another look and Elrohir nodded. "Do it. I will look after Glorfindel." He had caught a glimpse of Erestor's wound as well and realized they had little time left.

Elladan pushed his hands beneath Erestor's back and knees, and gently lifted his former mentor in his arms. "How did he manage to injure himself like that?"

"It must have happened when the flood surprised us. Something pierced his stomach." Glorfindel watched anxiously as Elladan placed Erestor in front of him. "Hurry, for I fear we might lose him otherwise." Elrohir's hand settled on his arm, making sure he didn't move about too much. "Now go!"

Elladan nodded determinedly, and while holding tightly onto Erestor, he urged his horse into motion. It would take him one hour to reach the Last Homely House. "Hold out a little longer, Erestor. Ada will take care of you. Do not give up now."

Glorfindel's hands became fists, watching Elladan speed away. You have better not give up now, Erestor, for I am determined to find out why you have been hiding behind a mask for so many centuries.

Part 3

"Ada! Ada, come quickly!"

Elrond looked up from the papers he was working on and rose from behind his desk at hearing Elladan's distraught voice. His heart contracted in anguish, hoping nothing had happened to Elrohir. Why else would Elladan be this upset?

He marched over to the window and mentally prepared himself for whatever dreadful scene would await him. Looking down into the courtyard, he gasped, seeing Erestor sitting in front of Elladan. The long, dirty cloak was open and he immediately noticed the combination of dry and fresh blood on the Elf's shirt. "Take him to the healing house. I will join you there!" Elrond gathered his robes around him and hurriedly left his study. His brief glance at Erestor, especially at the Elf's closed eyes, had told Elrond he had to act quickly if he wanted to keep the advisor alive.

Elrond reached the healing house first and walked over to Elladan who was still sitting on his horse. "Hand him to me." He carefully caught Erestor in his arms when his son lowered the injured Elf. "Elladan, follow me. I will need your help."

"But Elrohir...!" Seeing his father's expression, he climbed out of the saddle and followed Elrond into the healing house. "Elrohir stayed with Glorfindel."

"Why are they not with you?" Elrond was already busy cataloguing Erestor's injuries, realizing the blood loss was slowly sending him to the Halls of Mandos.

"Amdir, Erestor's horse, wore a harness to drag the litter Glorfindel was lying on," started Elladan, opening doors so his father could pass.

"A litter?" Elrond frowned. He finally reached a bed and slowly laid Erestor down, immediately removing the dirty cloak and bloodied clothes.

"His legs lay at an odd angle. I think they are broken."

Elrond sighed, worried. That meant he would have two patients instead of one! "Send a patrol to fetch them, but you are staying!" He had been teaching his sons how to attend to the wounded and needed Elladan to assist him.

Elladan left momentarily to instruct the guards and then returned to his father's side. "How badly injured is he?"

"Did Glorfindel tell you what happened?"

"He mentioned something about a flood and Erestor getting injured in the process. We only talked for one moment. I wanted Erestor here as quickly as possible."

"You made the right decision." Elrond had gathered herbs, bandages and water. Using a washcloth, he removed dirt, grass and mud from Erestor's stomach wound and then probed the injury. Erestor groaned softly, in obvious pain. Elrond's brow knitted. "He lost a tremendous amount of blood. There is little I can do for him."

Elladan tensed, hearing those words. "Are you saying he will die?" Elves didn't die! They were supposed to live forever!

Elrond's shoulders sagged. "It is possible. I know of some herbs that will stimulate his blood flow and production, but he is very weak."

Elladan stared at his father in disbelief. "Ada, we cannot lose him!"

Elrond, who had taken the selected herbs and now dropped them into the hot water, looked curiously at his son.

Thinking about his former mentor, Elladan said, "He was a harsh teacher, but always just. He never mistreated Elrohir and I; was always friendly and respectful, but... He never gave us the same affection we got from Glorfindel and you." Elladan watched as his father slightly lifted Erestor's head to help the injured Elf drink the healing tea. "What can I do to help?"

"We have to clean him up," said Elrond, "You can fetch more water and wash him. I will then bandage the wound." He lowered Erestor back onto the bed and smoothed back the tangled mess of black hair. "We must stay close at all times."

Elladan fetched the water, poured it into a bowl and sat down on the edge of the bed, whilst Elrond removed Erestor's underwear. "The dirt and grime need to go."

Elladan nodded once. After soaking the washcloth in the tepid water, he began to wash Erestor, starting with the Elf's feet. It was the strangest thing; he had never seen Erestor wounded, let alone this vulnerable.

Elrond placed small pouches, filled with healing herbs, on Erestor's stomach, hoping they would draw the infection from the Elf's body. "It worries me that his eyes have closed."

Elladan understood his father's worry, sharing it. After wringing the dirt from the cloth, he soaked it again in the water, to which Elrond had added herbs that would hopefully sooth the damaged skin.

Elrond took up another washcloth and helped Elladan. The silence that settled down on them was comfortable, but still pregnant with worry. "Hopefully Elrohir and Glorfindel will arrive shortly. I will have to leave you alone with Erestor to tend to Glorfindel. Just sit with him, and should he regain consciousness, alert me at once."

"I will." Elladan pushed back the long, dark tresses to wash Erestor's neck, when he saw something that made him frown. "Ada? What do you make of this?"

Elrond, growing curious at his son's tone, looked at Erestor's neck. There were thin, fading scars at the back of the Elf's neck, and some more close to Erestor's ears. "It almost looked like..." His voice faded away, placing his hand around the back of Erestor's neck. "Fingernails." The tips of his fingers now rested near the scars. "Someone's fingernails broke the skin there."

Both half-Elves stared at each other in puzzlement. "Why?" asked Elladan eventually.

"I do not know," replied Elrond, whose worry was increasing. "It would explain why he never braids his hair. The plaits would reveal the scars beneath his ears."

Elladan shivered as an ominous feeling swept through him. "I always wondered what made him this distant, so apparently indifferent. Do you think there is something in his past that-"

A terrified whimper fled Erestor's lips, drawing their attention. Elladan finished cleaning up Erestor and then stepped back, awaiting his father's instructions, who was about to bandage Erestor's abdomen.

"Support him," said Elrond, reaching for the bandages.

Elladan sat down behind the injured Elf and gently pulled Erestor's back to his chest to steady him whilst Elrond bandaged the damaged area, putting fresh herbs between the skin and bandages.

"It will be several weeks before this injury has healed, if he survives." Elrond gently lowered Erestor onto his back and then pulled up several blankets to keep the injured Elf warm. "I wish there was a way to replace the blood he has lost." But a blood transfusion was something he had never done before and he wasn't sure it would even work. "Make sure he drinks at least one cup of the herbal tea each hour. It is the only thing I can do to strengthen him."

"I will make sure he drinks," said Elladan, equally worried. The scars still puzzled him, and he wondered how Erestor had acquired them. When he had grown up he had felt curious, realizing Erestor was the only Elf in Imladris who didn't wear his hair braided, but he had never asked why. Erestor had intimidated him when he had been an Elfling and later it had never come up.

Elrond rose to his feet and headed toward the doorway, as Elrohir would arrive with the wounded Glorfindel shortly. "Keep a close eye on him, make sure he drinks, and alert me if he gets worse or wakes up."

Elladan nodded, showing he had understood. "I will watch over him." After Elrond had left, he instinctively took hold of Erestor's hand, hoping his father was right and that the counselor wouldn't wake shortly. Erestor would immediately pull back when realizing the twin was cradling his hand. His former mentor had never instigated any physical contact in the past; when he had needed a hug he went to his father or Glorfindel, but never Erestor. "I do not want to lose you, Erestor," admitted Elladan in a soft tone. Although Erestor had maintained his distance during all these centuries,, the twin had always cared about the dark-haired counselor. "Please fight."

Elrond raised an eyebrow, seeing the pitiful state Glorfindel was in. The blond was obviously incapable of walking, but seemed extremely eager to get back to his feet. "Glorfindel, what in Elbereth's name happened on your way back from Lothlorien?"

Elrohir dismounted and joined his father and Glorfindel. During their way back Glorfindel had constantly expressed his worry about Erestor, greatly surprising the twin with his concern.

"Where is Erestor? Will he recover?" Glorfindel locked eyes with Elrond when they lifted him from the litter. The two of them carried him inside and he repeated his question. "Tell me, Elrond."

"I am not sure," said Elrond calmly. "He lost too much blood. Much depends on Erestor's will to survive and recover."

Glorfindel bit his bottom lip when pain coursed through his legs, and he was relieved when the two half-Elves finally placed him on a bed. Elrond probed the broken bones, removed his leggings and tightly bandaged and splinted his leg after setting the bones. Some time during the treatment the pain overwhelmed him and he fainted.

"Only his right leg is broken," said Elrond, thoughtfully. "His left knee is badly bruised, but fortunately intact. We should put him into dry clothes and then let him rest."

"How does Erestor fare?" enquired Elrohir. "Glorfindel was rather concerned about him, which surprises me. I was under the impression they never got along." He assisted his father in removing Glorfindel's dirty clothes, and then they wrapped the blond in warm blankets. What the Elda needed most was rest so his healing ability could take care of his injuries.

"Erestor is seriously injured." Elrond sighed worriedly. "You can visit him in the adjoining room. Elladan is sitting with him."

"And you will stay with Glorfindel, Ada?"

Elrond nodded. "Go talk to your brother." Elrond watched Elrohir leave and pulled a chair closer up to the bed, where he sat down, watching his friend. Unexpectedly Glorfindel groaned softly and awareness returned to the blond's eyes. Elrond immediately leaned in closer and searched the sapphire eyes. "How do you fare, Glorfindel? How much pain are you in?"

Glorfindel blinked and managed to focus on Elrond. "The pain... is bearable... but tell me this... where is Erestor?"

Elrond studied him from beneath a raised eyebrow. "You do not even want to know that you suffered only one broken leg and not two?"

Glorfindel nodded once. "That is good news indeed... but I really want... to know about Erestor. Is he..." Glorfindel wavered to actually say the words. "He is still alive... Is he not?"

Elrond marveled at the emotion displayed in Glorfindel's eyes. "He is still alive. Elladan is watching over him."

"Can Erestor and I... share a room? I think the company... would help him... recover."

"You are volunteering to be his roommate?" Elrond's eyes revealed surprise. "A few weeks ago you asked me to send someone else in your place because you did not want to spend this much time with him."

"I might have been... wrong," whispered Glorfindel, feeling miserable. "I think I... misjudged him." Elrond's inquisitive eyes asked for more information and he complied. "A storm surprised us... and we got caught up in a flood... I was dragged along and Erestor came after me... probably saving my life. He bandaged my legs, built that litter... and gave me our last drops of water. He took care of me, Elrond... I never expected that."

"That cannot have been easy on Erestor, injured as he is."

"He did not tell me, Elrond. He hid his injury... I found out by accident, and when I asked him to stop walking and rest, he refused, insisting he had to take me back to Imladris."

Elrond read shock in Glorfindel's blue eyes and nodded. "Erestor surprised you."

"Surprised me?" Glorfindel shook his head. "Elrond... he was determined to take me back, even if it cost him his life!"

"Why does that surprise you?" asked Elrond, ignoring Glorfindel's distraught expression. "Erestor is fiercely loyal to all of us."

"But he never showed it before!"

"You have to look beneath the face of indifference he usually wears," said Elrond softly. "Erestor has become more distant and isolated these last few years. He was more spontaneous, friendlier when the children were still little. He might not show it openly, but he needs this family as much as we need him."

Glorfindel considered Elrond's words, knowing them true. "I do not want to stay in this room... Let me join Erestor."

Elrond nodded, giving in. "We will move you shortly then. Give the twins a moment to fully understand what has happened. Erestor's soul can still pass on to the Halls of Mandos."

"I pray to Elbereth that Erestor will stay with us," whispered Glorfindel, holding on to his faith in Elrond's healing skills.

Elrohir soundlessly entered the room, immediately locking eyes with his twin. Surprised, he noticed that Elladan was holding Erestor's hand, muttering softly. He walked into the room and pulled up a chair, sitting down next to his brother. Erestor looked too pale, too fragile, and he feared his father was right and that the counselor's soul would travel to Mandos. "I hope he survives," whispered Elrohir softly, catching Elladan's gaze. "Ada thinks Erestor might not recover."

"He lost so much blood," replied Elladan in a saddened tone. "I do not want him to leave us."

Elrohir placed his hand on Elladan's. "This reminds me of when I was a child."

"In what way?" asked Elladan.

"Glorfindel had allowed you to ride out with him for the very first time and I had agreed to study with Erestor. We had never been apart for that long, and missing you, I started to cry. Erestor obviously did not know what to do. He simply stared at me. Later, when I was put to bed, I was still crying because you had not returned yet and suddenly Erestor entered the room. He sat with me, stroked my hair and hugged me. Can you imagine how shocked I was? He had never showed any affection before. He stayed with me until you returned."

Elladan recalled the incident. They had been children and he had been thrilled that Glorfindel would take him for a ride. He had been so excited that he had forgotten about his twin, for the very first time in his life. When they had finally returned home, he had found his twin sitting upright in bed and their father had been manipulating the shadows, using his hands to project animals onto the wall. Elrohir had been smiling and Elladan had instantly felt less guilty for forgetting about his brother. "But," stuttered Elladan, growing upset, "Ada was sitting with you that night. Not Erestor." He distinctly remembered seeing their father's dark hair and brown robes when he had entered. "You mixed something up."

"I did not," said Elrohir determinedly. "It was Erestor. Did you see Ada's butterfly hairclip, then?"

Elladan's eyes suddenly widened, realizing he hadn't seen that clip. "Maybe he forgot to wear it."

"Elladan, we gave it to him as a begetting day present only a few days earlier. He wore it constantly to please us."

Elladan swallowed hard. "Erestor actually hugged you?"

"Aye, and when you went to Ada or Glorfindel when you were hurting, I went to Erestor. It was awkward at first. I quickly realized he was not used to hugging someone, but his hugs became warmer through the years."

"I never knew," whispered Elladan, surprised. "I always thought it was Ada consoling you that night. The mere thought that Erestor hugged you stuns me. He is so distant!"

Elrohir inclined his head in thought. "I often wondered about that. He stopped hugging me when I reached majority, and became distant. It was different when I was little."

"He never hugged me," said Elladan, finding it hard to believe Erestor could show his emotions like that.

"When I grew older, I wondered about Erestor -- and I still do. Remember when we played at the Bruinen without Ada knowing about it? You got caught in the current and Erestor dived after you. We were toddlers back then, but I still remember the incident vividly. I was afraid you would drown."

"Are you saying it was Erestor who pulled me out?" He had been under the impression that Ada had saved him. Dark hair had fanned around him when he had been pulled to the surface so he could finally breathe again. Dark hair, which he had automatically had assumed to be his father's. "I did not know it was Erestor."

Elrohir shrugged. "Erestor might hide his feelings, but I do believe he loves us."

Elladan, still shocked, stared at Erestor's pale face. "I never knew he reached out to you like that and saved me. What else don't we know?" Considering his own words, he signaled for his brother to lean in closer.

Elrohir frowned when Elladan brushed back some dark locks from Erestor's face. "What are you doing?"

"Look at these scars. Ada thinks it was fingernails that left them behind." He mimicked Elrond's gesture, letting his hand hover above Erestor's neck, never touching any skin.

Elrohir swallowed hard; fingernails breaking the skin like that must have hurt. "When did that happen? And why?"

"We do not know. But maybe it is time we asked and found out?"

"Not yet," said Elrond, carrying Glorfindel into the room. "Let him recover first."

"Provided he survives," whispered Elrohir in a depressed tone.

Elrond placed Glorfindel on the bed next to Erestor and stepped back after making sure the bandages were still in place. The room was getting crowded, and he signaled for his sons to follow him into the corridor, thus giving Glorfindel a chance to settle down.

Elladan and Elrohir anxiously looked at their father. "Why is Glorfindel sharing a room with Erestor?" asked Elladan eventually, still mulling over the information that Elrohir had provided him with.

Elrond inclined his head. "Glorfindel is worried about Erestor."

"We all are," pointed Elrohir out to Elrond, "But sharing a room? I always thought Glorfindel disliked Erestor."

"Things are changing," said Elrond. "Come, we need to take turns watching them. I suggest one of us remains close at all times, and call me at once should Erestor get worse. I will take the first shift."

"I will take second," said Elladan, beating Elrohir to volunteering. "Ada? Can I ask you a question?"

Curious, Elrond nodded his head. "What do you want to know?"

"Who saved me when I nearly drowned in the Bruinen?" Seeing Elrond's puzzled look, he added, "When I was a child?"

Elrond recalled the incident Elladan was talking about. "Erestor dived in after you. Why are you asking?"

Elladan swallowed hard. Why had he been convinced it had been Elrond? "And when Glorfindel took me out riding that very first time, did you console Elrohir?"

Elrond's frown deepened. "Erestor did." Elrohir had only told him later that Erestor had soothed him. Elladan's questions were beginning to worry him. "Why bring this up now?"

Elladan was too ashamed to admit he had thought it had been his father in both cases and lowered his eyes, staring at the floor. "It is nothing."

Elrond didn't really believe that, but lacked the energy to pull everything out of Elladan. He had two patients to worry about. "Make sure Amdir is taken care of."

The twins nodded and left. Elladan exchanged a look with his twin and whispered, "I really thought it was Ada on both accounts."

"We were young," said Elrohir, trying to reassure his brother. "Do not worry about it."

"I always thought Erestor did not care and now I find out he saved my life and he was there for you when I was not."

"Elladan, let it go," advised Elrohir. "He will need us during his recovery and the last thing you should do is feel guilty about something that happened when we were children."

Elladan nodded, but still wasn't convinced. He felt like he had truly misjudged Erestor.

Part 4

Glorfindel managed to cock his head so he could look at Erestor. The Elf's pallor worried him and cold radiated from the counselor's body; a cold which he knew only too well. Erestor was battling Mandos. Reaching out with his right hand, he clasped Erestor's in his, rubbing the skin. "Erestor, do not give up now. You must fight and emerge victorious. The Halls of Waiting are cold and lonely. You should stay here instead."

Erestor didn't react to Glorfindel's voice, remaining deeply asleep, and Glorfindel desperately tried to think of a way to reach the dark-haired Elf. All he could come up with was holding onto Erestor's hand and rubbing the knuckles, hoping the injured Elf somehow felt his presence. "Erestor, do not die!"

Elrond, having heard Glorfindel's distressed tone, entered the room and hurried to the blond's side. "There is so little I can do for him." He filled the teacup again, lifted Erestor's head slightly and slowly poured the healing tea into his patient's mouth. Erestor swallowed instinctively and Elrond allowed a hopeful smile to break through on his face. "He has not left us yet. A part of him is still fighting."

"What can I do to help? How can I make him stay?"

Elrond gave Glorfindel a look full of understanding. "I doubt you can make him stay. If he no longer wants to live, his soul will leave us."

"How can I prevent that?"

Elrond smiled; Glorfindel appeared extremely determined to keep Erestor alive. "Talk to him. Tell him stories. Read to him. Just hearing your voice might help. And the other thing you can do, you are doing right now; hold his hand, touch him. Somehow you need to make contact with him and get through to him. Show him that you want him to stay." It was the only advice he could give Glorfindel.

"Then get me some books to read from and push my bed closer to his. The Halls of Waiting are no place for Erestor and I will keep him from giving up."

Elrond nodded once and then proceeded to push Glorfindel's bed closer to Erestor's, just as the blond had wanted. Elrond smiled as Glorfindel tightened the hold he had on the dark-haired Elf's hand. During their trip something had brought them closer together. "You never expected him to dive in after you, did you?"

"And I never expected him to take care of me."

Glorfindel's determined expression filled Elrond with hope. "Let us hope that you are right and that you will succeed in keeping him here. I will bring you a book to read from, and my sons and I will sit with Erestor as well."

"Thank you," whispered Glorfindel. "I knew you would not give up on him without a fight."

Glorfindel, feeling exhausted, put down his book and looked at Erestor. The sun and moon had risen and set once and still the dark-haired Elf remained unconscious. He had been reading nonstop for hours now, and Elrohir had brought him some tea, hearing his hoarse voice. The youngest twin had stayed, and was now sitting in a chair next to Erestor's bed.

"Do you want me to continue reading?" offered Elrohir. After seeing Glorfindel nod, he reached for the book and began reading where the blond had left off, his soft, melodic voice pleasantly echoing through the room.

Even Glorfindel grew calm, and dozed off, listening to Elrohir's voice.

Elrohir smiled, seeing Glorfindel's eyes grow vacant. The Elda had fought sleep for a day now, but exhaustion had finally gotten the better of him. He continued to read, occasionally looking at his charges. When his father entered, he smiled warmly. "Glorfindel finally went to sleep. I probably bored him."

"You did well, Elrohir. Glorfindel needs to rest." Elrond came to a halt next to Erestor's bed and cautiously pushed down the covers. Probing the bandages, he found no fresh blood on them and he sighed, relieved. "The bleeding has stopped."

"Maybe there wasn't any more blood left?" Elrohir's voice sounded utterly miserable. "Erestor is so pale, Ada."

"It is time for him to drink more of the herbal tea." Elrond repeated the procedure, slowly pouring the tea down Erestor's throat. After lowering his patient back onto the bed, he studied his counselor. "I was afraid his soul would leave us, but he is still with us."

"Do you think he will survive?" asked Elrohir in a hopeful tone.

Elrond sat down on the edge of the bed and curled his fingers around Erestor's right hand. Glorfindel was still clinging to the left. "His chances at survival are increasing."

"Ada?" Elrohir put away the book and looked at his father. "Elladan and I were talking about Erestor. When we were little Erestor never seemed as distant as he is now."

"True," agreed Elrond, "He grew more distant after you reached majority. You might not remember, for Elladan and you were babies at the time, but he would hold you for hours, then switch to holding Elladan and usually ended up holding both of you before Celebrian would put you to bed. It was the same when Arwen was born. He adored the three of you when you were babies."

"I do not understand him," sighed Elrohir, worriedly. "When I was still an Elfling, and upset because Elladan had done something stupid, I would go to Erestor and he would hold me. Awkwardly, but it was obvious he cared. The affection he showed me when I was an Elfling has faded and when I look at him now, it is gone completely."

"You might not be looking behind his mask," said Elrond thoughtfully. "I do not think he ever stopped caring about the three of you, but he became better at hiding it."

"Why would he feel like he needs to hide his feelings?"

"I was wondering about the same thing." Elrond exchanged a look with Elrohir. "We should try to find out, provided he survives." Elrond rose to his feet and headed for the doorway. "Call me, should Erestor's condition worsen."

"I will." Elrohir sighed and picked up the book again, reading softly to the two sleeping forms.

Four days and nights passed and still Erestor showed no sign of waking up. Elrond sighed disappointedly; he had hoped the attention they were constantly giving Erestor would pay off. Now he sat on the bed again, feeding Erestor the healing tea. Glorfindel anxiously watched his every move, making Elrond nervous. "I told you before that you cannot make him stay."

"But he is still alive! That must mean he chose to stay!" Even the cold had somewhat retreated from the counselor's body. "We must continue to talk to him, touch him."

Elrond gave the blond a worried look. "What has gotten into you, Glorfindel? I hardly recognize you. I also greatly worry about Erestor, but-"

Glorfindel cut the half-Elf short. "He saved my life, Elrond."

"And?" Elrond directed an inquisitive look at the blond.

"And I want to know who hurt him so badly that he feels he can no longer show his feelings."

"I agree that Erestor was hurt in the past, deeply, but I doubt he will confide in you, should he regain consciousness."

"But I am determined to try. I won't allow him to push me away again. Just before Elladan and Elrohir found us, he said he hoped some good was still left in Arda." Glorfindel slightly shifted in the bed. His bruised knee was healing and no longer caused him any discomfort. His broken leg was bandaged tightly, but still throbbed painfully. He hoped to be walking on crutches in a few days. Being confined to bed was driving him insane. Realizing his thoughts had drifted away, he returned to their topic. "I always wondered why he called his horse Amdir."

"Because there is still a sparkle of hope left in Erestor. Do you wish to make it blaze brightly?"

Glorfindel's eyes widened, but he nodded firmly. "Why do you think I wanted to share this room with him? I need to know him close."

"And when he wakes up? Will you leave or stay close? You do realize Erestor will try to push you away again?"

"He won't succeed," said Glorfindel grimly. "I won't leave him alone until he has told me why he is acting in this way."

"I wish you luck," said Elrond skeptically. "I tried centuries ago when Erestor arrived in Imladris. I never succeeded."

"Erestor was already part of your household when I returned from Mandos." Erestor hadn't been Elrond's chief counselor yet, but he had already advised the Lord of Imladris in urgent matters. "Was he already that distant when you first met him?"

Elrond frowned, trying to recall his first encounter with Erestor. "I was not sure he had reached majority when he arrived and I was inclined to send him back to his family, but he begged me to let him stay. I wondered about that."

"Why would he not want to go back to his family?"

"I do not know, but I allowed him to stay. He began working in the library as a scribe, and then became my personal assistant. I recall working on some road maintenance plans and becoming increasingly frustrated until Erestor timidly suggested a different approach. He was really quiet, hardly ever said a word. It took me years of coaxing him into expressing his opinions." Elrond continued, "He hardly had any self confidence and always remained at the back, never drawing any attention to himself."

"And when the twins were born?"

"Celebrian took a liking to Erestor, which surprised me, but I happily encouraged their friendship." Elrond suddenly grinned. "One night, I found Celebrian sound asleep; the twins had kept her awake for several days. And Erestor was sitting in her rocking chair, one twin in each arm, rocking them and muttering softly."

Glorfindel's eyes grew big. "He was rocking the twins?"

"And they were finally asleep. They had been screaming and crying for days." Elrond smiled brilliantly. "The babies adored him."

Glorfindel laughed warmly. "Why do I have trouble picturing that scene?"

"I know it is hard to believe, but it is true; they went quiet whenever Erestor rocked them." Elrond rested his right hand on Erestor's brow and gently rubbed the skin. "I do not know why he forces himself to wear this mask; maybe you can find out."

Glorfindel nodded his head once. "I will."

Erestor's soft groan startled Elladan, who had relieved his brother. It was six days ago that they had happened upon Erestor and Glorfindel, and although the blond's legs were healing, the counselor remained unconscious.

Elladan reached for the cup. "It is time for another round of tea." How many times had he made Erestor drink the concoction? And still it didn't seem to help.

Glorfindel watched closely as Elladan placed the cup at Erestor's lips, still hoping the raven-haired Elf would miraculously wake up.

The truth was they were losing hope.

Shifting in the bed, he pushed himself into an upright position. Earlier this morning Elrond had allowed him to walk; he had needed crutches, but had managed to walk from the bed to the bathroom and back again. He had wanted to share his happiness with Erestor, but the vacant eyes had quickly made him feel depressed again.

Elladan's breath caught as another pain-filled groan escaped Erestor's lips. "Erestor?" Studying the dark eyes, Elladan thought he saw a spark of recognition. "Glorfindel? I think he is waking up."

Glorfindel leaned in closer, trying to lock eyes with Erestor, who was lying limply in Elladan's arms. "Erestor? Can you hear me?"

Erestor blinked once and then released a keening wail, filled with agony.

Elladan acted instinctively, soothing the distressed Elf. "You are back in Imladris. You are safe. Please stay calm."

Glorfindel quickly placed a hand on Erestor's arm. "Erestor? Listen to Elladan. You are safe. You are at the healing house and Elrond has tended to your injury." He held his breath when Erestor's gaze suddenly fixed on him. "Aye, Erestor, it is I, Glorfindel. We are home again."

"H-home?" stuttered Erestor brokenly. His eyes were still glazed and he seemed unable to focus his gaze.

A lump had formed in Elladan's throat and he swallowed hard at Erestor's helplessness. Realizing that Glorfindel was already holding one of Erestor's hands, he took hold of the other, gently squeezing it. "Aye, you are home, and Glorfindel is here as well."

Glorfindel smiled and rubbed Erestor's knuckles. "I knew you were a survivor, Erestor. You battled Mandos, did you not?"

"It... was...cold," whispered Erestor, fatigued. What was Glorfindel talking about? He hadn't been to Mandos. He had just been cold.

"Glorfindel? Look after him whilst I fetch Ada?" Elladan rose to his feet and headed for the doorway, eager to alert Elrond that Erestor had finally woken.

Glorfindel warmly squeezed Erestor's hand, wishing he was mobile enough to move even closer to Erestor. The dark-haired Elf lay on his back and stared blankly at the ceiling, but was nonetheless awake. Seeing that blank expression worried Glorfindel, and he gently tugged on Erestor's hand, trying to gain his attention. "Erestor, please look at me?" He was determined to keep Erestor awake until Elrond had had a chance to speak with his patient.

Erestor struggled, but managed to cock his head to look at the blond. "Why are you... still here?" Talking drained him and he was tempted to fall asleep again, but something in Glorfindel's expression urged him to stay awake and talk to him. Then he remembered Glorfindel's broken legs. That explained why he was lying in bed, but it did not explain why Glorfindel was sharing a room with him. The healing house had many rooms; why would Elrond put them in the same room?

"Why I am still here?" repeated Glorfindel in disbelief. "I am here because you were unconscious these last six days; you greatly worried me. I was afraid you would not return to us. I could not leave you!" Glorfindel registered the bafflement in Erestor's eyes and was moved by it. Erestor had never expected him to be there when he woke. "You saved my life, Erestor. You dived in after me and took care of me. How can I do anything less for you in return? I will watch over you until you have recovered. You won't push me away that easily."

Erestor, stunned, had silently listened to Glorfindel's declaration, and felt now lost for words. What was he supposed to say to that? Breathing in too deeply caused pain to erupt from his abdomen and he was instantly reminded of his injury. He wanted to probe the wound, but found that Glorfindel had a tight hold on his hand, refusing to let him pull away. Why is he holding my hand? Using his other hand, he probed the bandages.

"Your wound has finally stopped bleeding," announced Elrond in a warm tone. "You had me worried, Erestor. I was afraid you had lost too much blood to survive." Elrond walked over to Erestor and removed the probing hand from the bandages. "Don't move too much; there is still the danger than the wound might reopen again."

Erestor, who was still staring at Glorfindel and trying to figure out what the blond was talking about, now had to shift his gaze to Elrond. The worried expression in the half-Elf's blue eyes took him somewhat by surprise. Elrond had always tried to be his friend, but he had pushed Elrond away just as hard as the half-Elf had tried to get to know him. He had hoped Elrond had finally given up on befriending him, but he had been wrong.

Elladan entered the room and joined his father, tentatively making eye contact with his former mentor. He'd had time to work through his confusion at finding out Erestor had saved him in the past. He felt like he needed to say something, but was at a loss for words.

"You should drink some water now that you are awake," said Elrond, sitting down on the edge of the bed. He reached for the carafe on the nightstand and poured some water.

"Let me help," said Elladan quickly, sitting down on Erestor's other side and helping the injured Elf to lift his head.

Erestor was shocked at finding the two half-Elves tending to him. And then there was Glorfindel, staring worriedly at him.

"Erestor, drink," said Elrond when the injured Elf's lips remained tightly closed.

Erestor gave in and swallowed. The water was refreshing and he sighed contently. He hated to admit it, but lying in a warm and comfortable bed and being pampered felt good. He had never been fussed over before and wasn't sure how to react when Elrond slowly lowered him back onto the bed, tucking the covers around his form. So he remained quiet, watching them instead.

"Erestor?"

Glorfindel's voice reminded him that the blond was also present and he cocked his head to look at him. What did Glorfindel want from him? All Erestor wanted was to go back to sleep so he could forget about his pain.

"I am glad you came back." Glorfindel smiled radiantly, still rubbing Erestor's knuckles.

Glorfindel's behavior puzzled Erestor, but then again, so did Elrond and Elladan's. The twin was staring at him, a confused expression in his eyes. He was honestly surprised that Elladan was here; he knew the older twin usually avoided his company. Elrond suddenly stroked back a lock that had strayed into his face and Erestor nearly flinched at the touch, stopping himself just in time.

Elrond frowned, sensing Erestor's distress, but had no idea what had caused it. "Are you still thirsty? Hungry?" He could tell by looking at Erestor's glazed eyes that his charge was about to doze off again.

"Can I go back... to sleep now?" Erestor was very much aware of Glorfindel's fingers rubbing his skin and wondered why the blond was keeping up the reassurance. Even more amazing was that he didn't flinch away from the touch. That had never happened before.

"Aye, you can go back to sleep," said Elrond soothingly, stroking Erestor's hair. Tremors shook Erestor's body and he pulled back, giving his patient more personal space. The counselor calmed down and his eyes grew vacant again. Elrond exchanged a worried look with Glorfindel, but smiled, realizing the Elda was still holding Erestor's hand. He had expected the injured Elf to pull back, but Erestor surprisingly enough seemed to allow the caress. "You managed the impossible, Glorfindel. It certainly looks like you stopped him from entering the Halls of Waiting," said Elrond, pleased.

Glorfindel smiled happily at Elrond. "-We- kept him here, Elrond."

"Elrohir will be relieved to hear Erestor regained consciousness," whispered Elladan.

Elrond looked at his oldest son, seeing an unreadable emotion in Elladan's eyes. "I assume you are relieved as well?"

"Aye, but I also feel guilty," admitted Elladan.

"Guilty? Why?" Elrond's brow grew knitted. "Why do you feel guilty?"

Elladan sighed deeply. "Ada, remember I asked you about me nearly drowning in the Bruinen?"

Elrond nodded. "I do."

"I always thought it was you who saved me, not Erestor." Elladan lowered his eyes. "I also did not know it was Erestor who consoled Elrohir when he was upset because I had left with Glorfindel. I never knew Erestor cared."

Elrond shook his head. "Do not feel guilty, Elladan. You were very young when this happened." Elrond grinned. "Remind me to tell you about Erestor rocking you when you were a baby." Elladan's eyes widened and Elrond reassuringly placed his hand on his son's shoulder.

"Will you tell me?"

Elrond nodded. "I will tell you, but we should leave now. Our talking might disturb Erestor's sleep and he is in good hands with Glorfindel." Addressing the blond, he said, "We will remain close. Call us when you need assistance."

Glorfindel watched Elrond and Elladan go, eager to spend time alone with Erestor, even when the dark-haired Elf was soundly asleep, but he hoped the injured Elf would wake again shortly for then he could talk to him. Looking at Erestor, he wondered about the other Elf. He had also noticed the way Erestor had pulled away from Elrond's touch; it strengthened him in his belief that someone had hurt the counselor in the past. Who hurt you? And why? Glorfindel was determined to find out.

Elladan was perplexed after listening to Elrond. His father had told him how Erestor had befriended Celebrian, and usually watched the twins, rocking them when they refused to stop crying. "He rocked us?" He remembered his mother's rocking chair, but couldn't picture Erestor sitting in it, holding them.

"I think he still cares deeply about you and Elrohir, but feels he needs to hide that affection."

"Then we must find out why he is hiding from us." Elladan walked toward the doorway. "I will inform Elrohir that Erestor woke up."

Elrond let him go and pondered Elladan's shocked reaction. He had never realized how much a part Erestor had been of their lives when his children had been born, and the twins had apparently forgotten Erestor had loved them. Well, they had only been babies. Once they had grown older, Erestor had become colder.

I wonder why?

Part 5

Glorfindel was definitely driving him insane. The blond had first played his flute and had then started reading to him, despite his request to be left alone. Erestor closed his eyes momentarily, trying to lock out Glorfindel's warm and enchanting voice, but he failed. Instead he found himself clinging to every word, hoping Glorfindel would stay close a few more days. With difficulty, and biting down the pain, he managed to turn onto his right, turning away from Glorfindel.

Glorfindel's features distorted when Erestor turned his back on him. What was he doing wrong? He was trying hard to entertain Erestor, hoping to see the dark-haired Elf smile just once. He sat upright in bed, placed his crutches beneath his armpits and pushed himself up to his feet. Moving slowly, he made his way to Erestor's bed and came to a halt in front of the injured Elf, forcing Erestor to look at him. The Noldorin Elf's eyes closed, frustrating him even further.

Erestor wasn't sure what he wanted Glorfindel to do. He had expected the blond to tire of his behavior, but at the same time he hoped that the Elda wouldn't give up on reaching out to him. He couldn't help that he had lost the ability to trust!

"Erestor? Would you just look at me? I feel locked out." Glorfindel decided on the direct approach. "Why are you pushing me away? I am trying to be pleasant company and the least you can do is to talk and look at me. Am I invisible to you?"

Erestor sighed, dejectedly. "Why can't you leave me alone?"

"Is that what you really want? To be left alone?" Glorfindel studied the silent form. "A week ago I would have believed you, but I no longer do." To his utter satisfaction Erestor's eyes opened to stare at him in shock. "And I am right, am I not? You like my company." Victoriously, he smiled at the Noldorin Elf. "You do not have to admit it aloud, Erestor. I read the answer in your eyes."

For one brief moment Erestor considered protesting, but he was hurting and in dire need of a friend, so he allowed the blond to continue.

"Why do we not call for a truce?" Glorfindel, growing tired as his pain increased, lowered himself onto the chair next to Erestor, which Elrond or one of his sons usually occupied. "We are both in the same situation and we can draw comfort from each other's company."

Erestor wasn't sure that giving in was the right thing to do, afraid he might regret trusting Glorfindel later, but he nodded once. "A truce, then."

"And you will stop pushing me away." Glorfindel studied the dark eyes, which revealed hurt and loneliness, two emotions he had seen there before when Erestor had taken care of him during those cold and wet nights.

"I will try," said Erestor softly, "but I am not sure I can." Locking others out had been his way of making sure no one could ever hurt him again -- and now Glorfindel was asking him to trust him. Could he do that?

Glorfindel's smile was saddened, realizing a world of hurt hid in Erestor's eyes. Throwing caution to the wind, he leaned in closer. "Who has hurt you so badly in the past?" He instantly regretted his words when Erestor's eyes widened in shock. An expression of indifference then appeared, where just loneliness and pain had been.

"I have no idea what you are talking about." Erestor gritted his teeth against the pain, turning onto his other side as he was no longer able to look Glorfindel in the eyes.

The fact that Erestor didn't trust him after all these centuries hurt, but didn't come as a surprise to Glorfindel. "Erestor? You promised to not shut me out."

"Then do not ask such stupid questions!" Erestor's voice hitched, revealing his shock.

"I regret asking you that question, but I am worried about you."

"Do not worry about me. I can take care of myself."

Glorfindel suddenly realized something about Erestor. "You always had to take care of yourself because no one else did."

Erestor's discomfort increased; Glorfindel was discovering too much about him and it had to stop before he caved in and entrusted his pain to the blond. "Can we change the subject?"

But Glorfindel considered everything he had learned so far. Elrond had told him that when Erestor had arrived in Imladris he'd had no self confidence, never spoke up until the half-Elf convinced him it was expected of him as his advisor.

By Elbereth, he was still missing too many pieces of this puzzle and it didn't look like Erestor would help him. The babies. Elrond said Erestor adored the twins when they were babies... Why can I not solve this riddle? Getting frustrated, he rested a hand on Erestor's shoulder, feeling the Elf tremble at the touch. "What would you like to talk about then? The twins maybe?" Erestor froze beneath his touch.

"The twins? Why would I want to discuss them?" Erestor tightly closed his eyes, wishing Glorfindel would leave him alone. The blond was learning too much about him!

"You scared Elrohir when you remained unconscious. He was afraid you would not return to us, and choose to stay at Mandos instead." Glorfindel knew he was treading on dangerous grounds, but still continued. "He also told me that you comforted him when he was little." Erestor was now shaking like a leaf and Glorfindel realized it was time to give the Noldorin Elf some personal space. "Would you like me to read to you?"

Erestor shook his head. "I can read to myself if I so desire. I do not need you to read to me."

Glorfindel sighed, exasperated. Why was Erestor making this so hard on them?

"Is my patient giving you any trouble, Glorfindel?" Elrond entered the room with a bemused expression on his face after hearing the last lines they had exchanged. Had Glorfindel really thought he would reach Erestor that easily? The Elda was in for a surprise.

"He is being difficult, yes," scowled Glorfindel, frustrated.

"Why don't you return to your bed, Glorfindel? I need to check Erestor's bandages." Elrond waited for the blond to move back to his bed and answered his friend's frown with a smile. Do not give up yet. It would take time to get through to Erestor. He came to a stop next to Erestor's bed and pushed down the blankets. "How do you fare today? Are you still in any pain?"

Erestor was now forced to open his eyes and return Elrond's gaze. "Only when I breathe in too deeply."

Elrond sat down on the bed and slowly pulled Erestor into an upright position. "Lean against me, meldir-nîn." He distinctly noticed the stiffness to Erestor's movement when the injured Elf's chest came to rest against his shoulder. Gently, he removed the bandages and then lowered Erestor back onto the bed again.

Erestor quickly glanced at his stomach, finding that the wound had closed, though it would probably leave an ugly scar for some years. Well, it wasn't like he didn't have any other scars, what difference made one more? Elrond's fingers cautiously probed the wound and Erestor's lips became a thin line, stoically enduring the examination.

Once Elrond was convinced that the wound was healing properly he placed fresh healing herbs on the mending area, and after pulling Erestor against him, applied the bandages once more. "I might allow you to leave your bed tomorrow, if you promise to not overdo it."

Lying flat on his back again, Erestor hesitantly made eye contact with the healer. "Does that mean I can return to my rooms then?"

Elrond had expected that question and had his answer ready. "No. You will stay here for a few more days." Erestor's eyes darkened at that, but Elrond gave his friend a stern look. "You almost died a week ago. I want to keep an eye on you a little longer and I cannot do that when you are back in your rooms. Like Glorfindel, you will stay here at the Healing House." Elrond noticed the smug look on the blond's face and realized Glorfindel didn't want Erestor to leave either. "Who knows," said Elrond, only half jokingly, "Maybe the two of you will even become friends."

Glorfindel smiled warmly at that, whilst Erestor swallowed hard, trying to rid himself of the emotions choking him. Friends? Elrond had better not count on that.

"I would like that," said Glorfindel, sincerely, and he managed to catch Erestor's elusive gaze with his.

Erestor sighed, fatigued, wondering why they were teaming up against him. "Can I sleep now? I am tired."

Elrond and Glorfindel realized Erestor no longer wanted to talk to them and stopped pushing him. Elrond nodded his head. "You can go to sleep now. When you wake up again Elrohir will probably be keeping you company for my presence is required elsewhere." Thranduil had sent a letter, asking his help in keeping their borders safe. The letter had surprised him, but Elrond had welcomed the offer to combine their forces. "I will visit later."

Erestor forced himself to fall asleep again, unable to keep up this front much longer. He wanted so desperately to let them in, to tell them how much he was hurting, but didn't dare; he was afraid to have his trust betrayed again.

Elrond and Glorfindel's gazes met, and both were filled with worry.

"He promised to not push me away, and what does he do?" Glorfindel sighed, dejectedly. "I do not know how to get through to him. He completely shut down when I asked him who had hurt him in the past."

"You asked him that?" Wide-eyed, Elrond shook his head. "Glorfindel, you need to be subtle. You cannot be that direct!" Releasing a deep sigh, he studied his friend. "What else did you do?"

"I mentioned he adored the twins when they were little. He shut down at once. I just do not understand why we are not allowed to know he cares."

Elrond made sure Erestor was sound asleep and then brushed the dark tresses aside, revealing the scars his son had discovered earlier.

Glorfindel gasped at seeing them and reached the same conclusion as Elrond had. "Fingernails."

"I have been thinking about that. Someone must have held him down. Standing behind him, pushing him down." Elrond let one hand hover above the scars. "Someone did not want him to move."

"But why? And who did this?" Glorfindel's eyes narrowed. "Are they recent?"

Elrond shook his head. "He must have been an Elfling when this happened."

"So that is why he wears his hair loose. I wondered about that."

"Plaits would reveal the scars."

"This happened when he was a child then?" Glorfindel tried to make sense of this new information. "Who would be holding down a child like that? The skin broke and must have bled. He must have been in pain." Elrond's eyes had widened, alerting Glorfindel. "What is on your mind?"

But Elrond quickly shook his head. "It is impossible. No one would do that to a child."

"Do what?"

"Discipline him in such a way... That would be abusive." Elrond's thoughts raced.

A painful moan leaving Erestor's lips pulled them away from their conversation.

"He is still in a great deal of pain," said Elrond, concerned. "I will check on him in a few hours after I have answered Thranduil's letter." Seeing Glorfindel's curious look, he added, "Do not worry about it. I can manage." Elrond rose to his feet, but then froze again. "I could ask Erestor's father."

Glorfindel raised an eyebrow. "Erestor's father?"

"Eridhren is one of Thranduil's closest advisors. I can add a second letter and address it to him. Maybe he knows who hurt Erestor in the past." Elrond had considered writing to Erestor's father when the Elfling had first come to Imladris, but back then Erestor had begged him not to. Maybe it was time to get to the bottom of things. "Aye, I will write to him, but we will have to wait for an answer."

"And in the meantime I will continue to try to get through to him," said Glorfindel determinedly. "And I won't give up."

When Erestor woke next, he was awfully thirsty and his abdomen was aching again due to Elrond's probing earlier. He spotted the healing tea on the nightstand next to Glorfindel's bed, but it was way out of his reach. This past week he had been confined to bed and he had no idea if he could walk unaided; a fall might cause the wound to reopen, but the pain was growing worse. He needed that herbal tea for it would dampen the pain and help him sleep. Why had Elrond placed the teapot out of his reach?

Realizing he had to get the tea himself, he pushed back the covers, cringing when his stomach contracted. You have been through worse. You can do this. Erestor slowly pushed himself into a sitting position and then placed his feet on the floor. Vertigo overwhelmed him and he sat motionless, waiting for the sensation to pass. When it did, he pressed one hand against his healing wound and with the other he supported himself, using the wall to guide his steps.

He was relieved when the terrible agony, which he had been in since right after the flood, didn't return. Trying hard to bite down the ache, he carefully placed one foot in front of the other. Don't stumble; don't fall! Glorfindel was asleep and he hoped the blond wouldn't wake until he had returned to his bed.

Now that he had reached the nightstand came the tricky part. He had to let go of the wall to pour the tea. Swaying on his feet, he let go of the wall and curled his fingers around the handle of the teapot. Raising it caused a wave of pain to course through his abdomen. It ruined his concentration and his fingers slipped away; the teapot dropped onto the floor with a loud thud.

Glorfindel awake at once, startled by the crashing sound and sat upright, searching the room for a possible intruder. His heart missed a beat at seeing Erestor sway on his feet and with a guilty look on his face. His gaze dropped, and at seeing the broken pot he realized Erestor had left his bed to drink some of the healing tea. But the Noldorin Elf had apparently overestimated his strength. Glorfindel grabbed a crutch and struggled to his feet. Only the leg that had been broken still troubled him, but Elrond had assured him the fracture would heal with one more week of rest.

Stumbling toward Erestor, Glorfindel determinedly wrapped his other arm around the dark haired Elf's waist. "What are you doing on your feet?" Realizing he didn't have the strength to support Erestor, he called for help.

A moment later Elrohir appeared. "Ada told you to stay in bed!" He hurried over to Erestor, carefully folding an arm around the Elf's shoulder and guiding him back to bed. "And Glorfindel? Ada told you to rest as well."

Glorfindel, still worried about Erestor's health, obeyed wordlessly and returned to his bed, keeping a close eye on the counselor.

"Sit down slowly," instructed Elrohir, helping Erestor sit down on his bed. Erestor was panting softly and he waited for the elder Elf to catch his breath. Pain shone from the dark eyes and Elrohir felt the overwhelming urge to hug the other Elf.

Erestor froze completely when Elrohir's arms came up behind his back, pulling him into an embrace.

Glorfindel, who could see Erestor's eyes, noticed the shock, almost fear in them. Whatever happened to him caused him to be afraid of physical contact. Hopefully Erestor's father knew what troubled his son.

When Elrohir pulled back, tears shimmered in his eyes. Erestor had not answered the embrace and now sat paralyzed, as if scared to breathe. "What is wrong, Erestor?" He released the other Elf reluctantly; he had hoped Erestor would welcome the embrace. "Why does my closeness make you feel uncomfortable? You held me in the past when I was hurting and now I want to soothe you as well. Was I wrong to hug you?"

A shudder traveled through Erestor's body as he collapsed into himself. He had hurt the younger Elf's feelings and he hated himself for that. Unable to answer Elrohir, he closed his eyes in misery.

Elrohir realized he wouldn't get an answer and helped Erestor to lie down. "I will clean up the floor and prepare new tea."

"I am sorry about the mess I made," whispered Erestor, shakily.

"You are wounded, still hurting. Why did you not call me? I would have loved to help," said Elrohir in a friendly tone.

"I do not want to be a burden and I thought I could cover the distance myself." Erestor's eyes remained close, unable to meet Elrohir's gaze.

"You are -not- a burden!" said Elrohir firmly. He sighed deeply, disappointed that he hadn't been able to offer Erestor any comfort. "I will return with the tea shortly. How much pain are you in?" His father had told him what to do in case Erestor's condition worsened.

"It is bearable," said Erestor, unwilling to take more up of Elrohir's time.

But Elrohir heard the truth in Erestor's forced tone and opened one of his father's pouches, removed the dried herbs and placed them against Erestor's lips. "Chew on them. They will lessen your pain and help you sleep." Erestor's eyes finally opened and Elrohir fought the urge to hug him again, seeing the misery in them. But he refrained from embracing Erestor, vividly remembering the dark haired Elf's reaction a moment ago. "Chew."

Erestor obeyed, and began to chew on the herbs, which released a bitter essence. He recognized the taste, swallowed and within moments his pain began to fade away.

Elrohir nodded, pleased. "Now rest." He brushed some stray strands out of Erestor's face and expected to see him shiver, which Erestor promptly did. He waited for his former mentor to fall asleep, and once he was sure that Erestor could no longer hear them, he looked at Glorfindel. "It almost seems like he is afraid to be touched."

Glorfindel had reached the same conclusion. "We must be patient. If we try hard enough, we will find out in time."

Elrohir picked up the broken teapot and cleaned the floor. "We need to be more careful in future. I do not want him to leave his bed to get to the tea." Elrohir got to his feet and looked at the counselor. "When I was little and he hugged me, he always trembled. I never understood why. My closeness must have terrified him."

"But still he rocked and held you. Your father clearly stated that Erestor adored the babies."

"But things changed when we grew up." Elrohir disposed of the teapot and then pulled up the covers, making sure Erestor remained warm. "Do you think he will ever allow us in and tell us why?"

"Maybe." Glorfindel, sitting upright, cocked his head. "Elrond is writing to Eridhren to find out what is wrong with Erestor."

Unfamiliar with that name Elrohir looked at Glorfindel curiously.

"Eridhren is Erestor's father and advisor to Thranduil." Glorfindel frowned deeply. "I do not recall ever meeting him." He had often escorted Elrond when he and Thranduil had met to discuss urgent matters, and, come to think of it, Erestor had never accompanied them. Wouldn't he have been thrilled to see his father again? His father; what role does Eridhren play? Elrond said that Erestor was severely intimidated when he arrived in Imladris and did not want to return to his family. His father... Eridhren is the missing piece to this puzzle.

"Glorfindel?" Elrohir walked over to the blond's bed and tried to read the expression in his friend's eyes. "What are you brooding about?"

"Erestor's father. Why did he never visit his son? And I cannot remember Erestor ever leaving Imladris to visit his father. That does not make any sense." Glorfindel frowned. "We just discovered one more piece of this puzzle, but I do not know what to make of it."

Elrohir sat quietly, trying to help Glorfindel solve this mystery. "Erestor cannot have been very happy when he sought refuge here. Ada told me Erestor begged him to not contact his father. He was rather worried about Erestor, who was still very young to be away from home."

Glorfindel drew a conclusion that worried him. "Can it be that he was trying to get away from his father?"

"It surely sounds like it," agreed Elrohir, worried. "But why?"

"We should ask Erestor, or confront Eridhren." Elrond's letter would take care of that. They just had to be patient.

Elrond handed the messenger his reply to Thranduil and a letter for Eridhren. He had almost reconsidered writing to Erestor's father, but his concern for his counselor urged him to take action. For centuries he had let Erestor lock them out, and Glorfindel was right; that had to stop now. He had ignored the matter for much too long.

The messenger left and Elrond left his study to check on his charges. Glorfindel had recovered quickly, and he would have released the blond yesterday, had it not been for his request to be allowed to stay close to Erestor.

Erestor, however, did worry him. Although the wound had closed and had begun to heal, he worried about the counselor's emotional health.

Elrond reached the Healing House and peeked into the room Glorfindel and Erestor shared. The blond was awake, reading, but regularly looked up to check on Erestor. Glorfindel's recent interest in Erestor pleased Elrond. He had always hoped someone would look beneath the face of indifference Erestor usually wore.

He did, however, wonder just how deep Glorfindel's interest in Erestor ran. Lately, there was an unreadable emotion in the blond's eyes that reminded him of the way Gil-galad had looked at him decades ago. Even now, Glorfindel was looking at Erestor in that certain way.

For as long as he could remember Erestor had never mentioned a lover. Maybe that was what was missing from Erestor's life? A mate? Maybe Glorfindel was about to render that?

Elrond smiled; Erestor didn't realize it yet, but his life was about to change.

Part 6

Erestor managed to survive the next few days, which were filled with Glorfindel's cheerful chatter, awkward hugs delivered by Elrohir, and concerned stares from Elladan. At times he felt intimidated and uneasy, uncertain how to react when Elrohir enveloped him in another hug. The first few times he had frozen, unable to even breathe whilst the hug lasted, but now he was beginning to accept Elrohir's closeness.

Elrond, who had supervised his recovery, now sat next to his bed, watching him. They were alone in the room, as Glorfindel had left to exercise whilst Elladan kept a close eye on the blond. Erestor shifted in bed, feeling nervous under Elrond's probing stare. "When can I return to my chambers? The wound has long closed and there is no reason to keep me here." He looked at Elrond, meeting the half-Elf's curious gaze. Calling on his strength, he didn't budge when Elrond's gaze became piercing. It almost felt the half-Elf was capable of seeing into his very soul.

"I will allow you to leave the Healing House, but why are you so eager to return to your cold and empty chambers when you have the pleasure of Glorfindel's company here?" Elrond observed Erestor carefully until the counselor finally averted his eyes.

"I cannot take much more of this... attention," said Erestor, searching for the right words whilst staring at his hands, resting idly in his lap. "It feels like everyone has taken an interest in me and the attention makes me feel uncomfortable."

Erestor's honesty surprised Elrond, and he welcomed it. "You nearly died, Erestor. Maybe they now understand what a loss your death would have been and it made them eager to render past mistakes." Erestor's eyes flashed with an unidentifiable emotion, making Elrond frown.

"Mistakes? What past mistakes?" Erestor was still trying to deal with the fact that Elrond thought his death would have been a loss.

Elrond cleared his throat, preparing himself for a verbal battle. "Let us start with Glorfindel. He always thought you cold and distant, but since you dived in after him, he realized he never tried to get to know you. The real you, not the one you pretend to be." Erestor had frozen and now stared at him with dread in his eyes. "Do not deny it, for it is the truth."

"I have no idea what you are talking about," said Erestor stubbornly. "If all you are capable of is speaking nonsense I will return to my rooms now." Erestor, feeling trapped, pushed himself to his feet and rose from his chair. He ignored the ache that sliced through his abdomen and gritted his teeth. He was about to take his first step toward the doorway when Elrond reached for him and curled his fingers around his wrist, keeping him in place. "Let go of me."

Erestor's sharp tone didn't throw Elrond off. "Sit down, Erestor."

Realizing he couldn't ignore a direct order from the Lord of Imladris, he reluctantly seated himself again. Erestor glared at Elrond, hating the way the half-Elf made him feel; afraid and trapped. "What do you want?"

"I want you to listen to me." Elrond cocked his head, trying to read the expression in his counselor's dark eyes. Is he afraid of me? His gaze left Erestor's face and settled on the Elf's fingers; Erestor's fingernails were clawing at the wooden armrest. He realized he had to back off or else Erestor would lose the little trust that he did have in him. "I want you to rest once you returned to your chambers. You do not have to join us for dinner if you feel tired and I will visit you to make sure you are not overdoing it."

Erestor's relieved sigh made Elrond realize he had made the right decision. The counselor needed more time to recover. "Elrohir will walk you to your rooms." His youngest son had appeared in the doorway, hearing their voices, and Elrond nodded once, signaling for him to approach.

Erestor was stunned to see a concerned expression on Elrohir's face.

"Ada, are you sure he is strong enough to leave? Maybe Erestor should stay a little longer?"

Elrond smiled warmly at his son. "Unfortunately Erestor is quite eager to leave."

Erestor ignored their conversation and rose to his feet. Slowly, step-by-step, he made his way past Elrond and toward the doorway where Elrohir was waiting for him.

Elrohir's heart went out to his former mentor, seeing the elder Elf's stiff and hesitant movements. Before he knew it, he had reached out and wrapped an arm around Erestor's shoulder to keep him from falling. Erestor stiffened further at his touch, but allowed the contact. "I will escort you to your chambers."

Erestor wanted to decline, but one look at Elrohir told him how determined the half-Elf was. He reluctantly gave in and leaned heavily on Elrohir, who tightened his hold.

Elrond watched them leave, feeling content after all. Now he only had to wait for Glorfindel to return to the room.

"Glorfindel, stop it. You are exhausting yourself!" Elladan sighed, troubled by Glorfindel's determination to walk without the aid of a crutch. "At least let me help you."

Glorfindel placed a hand against the wall to support him and he made his way down the corridor, occasionally stifling a pain-filled moan. The bruised knee no longer troubled him, but the broken leg continued to throb disturbingly. "I have had enough of being confined to bed. I want to walk again!"

Elladan knew reasoning with Glorfindel wouldn't get him anywhere when the blond was in this sort of mood and he just let him be. "We should return to your room. Ada mentioned earlier that he wanted to talk to you."

Glorfindel nodded slowly, needing his concentration to keep him from falling. "Let us head back then." Elladan sighed again, dramatically this time, and Glorfindel grinned, knowing he was frustrating the twin.

Walking back took several minutes, but in the end, Glorfindel reached his bed and slowly sat down. "Where is Erestor?" Finding the dark-haired Elf gone from the room worried him.

"I allowed him to return to his rooms."

"Isn't it a bit early for that? You should have made him stay longer."

"I could not do that, Glorfindel." Elrond's gaze met Elladan's and he dismissed his son for the moment. Elladan left and Elrond focused on the blond again. "Erestor felt trapped. Forcing him to stay would have agitated him further. Now that he can return to his rooms he will feel safer."

"But I feel hesitant to leave him alone. Erestor will never admit it, but he did enjoy the company whilst he stayed here."

"We will visit regularly until he has recovered enough to return to his duties, which won't be for another week."

Glorfindel nodded. "Is there anything else you would like to discuss?" Now that Erestor had left, he would do the same and return to his quarters, which were fortunately located close to Erestor's.

"Yes, there is something I want to discuss with you. I received two letters today. One was from Thranduil, and the other was from Eridhren."

"Erestor's father... What does he say?" Glorfindel, growing curious, leaned in closer.

Deep lines, etched onto Elrond's brow, appeared. "He has no idea why Erestor might be acting strangely. According to Eridhren no one hurt Erestor in the past. It was a very formal letter, devoid of any emotion or interest in his son. It worries me."

"I do not believe him. Something bad happened to Erestor." His conversation with Elrohir returned to him. "Can it be that Eridhren is the problem? You said that Erestor begged you to not contact his father when he arrived here. It almost seems to me that he was afraid of Eridhren."

"That thought crossed my mind as well," admitted Elrond, not liking its implications. "A father abusing his son in that way is unheard of."

"But it could have happened," Glorfindel pointed out to him. "What do you know about Eridhren? And where is Erestor's mother? Does he have siblings?"

"Erestor never mentioned any." Elrond really didn't like the sound of this. The more he thought about it, the more convinced he became that Eridhren was the key to Erestor's behavior. "In that case I might have bad news."

An ominous feeling swept through Glorfindel at hearing Elrond's tone. "What is it?"

"Thranduil announced a visit to discuss joined border patrols."

Glorfindel's eyes widened. "That is the first time Thranduil will be visiting Imladris and aye, the timing could not have been worse." Although he was thrilled to hear Thranduil wanted to join forces against the Orcs and Uruk-Hai, he wasn't looking forward to the visit. Seeing Elrond's expression darken, he realized the worst was yet to come.

"And Eridhren will be accompanying him. They will arrive in a few days."

"That is most unfortunate. I had hoped we could gather more information first." Glorfindel leaned back into the pillows and his eyes took on a brooding experience. "Elrond, can it be that Eridhren caused those scars on the back of Erestor's neck?"

Elrond sighed deeply. "I must admit that I thought the same thing. It does make sense when one thinks it over. Erestor fled from his father and came here, seeking refuge, which I granted him. He begged me to not reveal his whereabouts, and—" Elrond paused, recalling how timid and insecure Erestor had been upon his arrival. "His confidence grew during his stay here. Probably because he was finally away from his father." It was important that he learned more about Erestor's family. "I suggest we do not tell Erestor just yet that we are expecting his father to accompany Thranduil. He needs more time to recover."

Glorfindel nodded. "I won't let him out of my sight." He slowly rose to his feet, eager to return to his rooms and pay Erestor a visit. "You should make sure Eridhren's guest rooms are located in the other wing, as far away from Erestor's rooms as possible."

"What if we are wrong? By Elbereth, I hope we are wrong. What kind of father can hurt his child in such a way?" Elrond shook his head in saddened disbelief.

"We will find out," said Glorfindel reassuringly. He walked, using a crutch to support him, toward the doorway and exchanged another look with Elrond. But what if we are right and Eridhren abused his son? What do we do then?

Elrohir opened the door to Erestor's room and stepped aside to let the elder Elf pass. The pallor had returned to the counselor's face and his hand pressed against his stomach, as if afraid that the wound might reopen again. "Why do you not sit down?" Elrohir pushed a chair closer to the fireplace, where he began to build a fire.

Erestor took Elrohir's advice and slowly sat down on the chair, watching the youngest twin. It was beyond him why Elrohir had begun hugging him again after such a long time. He had stopped displaying his affection when Elrohir had reached his majority.

The fire was blazing warmly and Elrohir pulled a chair closer to Erestor's, whilst his eyes scanned the counselor's rooms. They were Spartan, bereaved of any luxury, and the furniture consisted of a bed, three chairs, a desk and a cupboard. The walls had been painted brown and grey, only adding to the depressive atmosphere. Erestor's rooms felt cold and empty. "Are you sure you will be comfortable here?" Suddenly he felt guilty for never visiting Erestor before; this was his first visit ever.

"I will be fine," whispered Erestor, dreamily staring into the flames. Now that he was back in his rooms he felt safer, and involuntarily he began to let down his guard.

Elrohir rose to his feet again; seeing the distant expression in Erestor's eyes told him the elder Elf needed to rest. He came to a halt in front of Erestor, went down on his heels and slowly wrapped his arms around the Elf's form. Erestor shivered at his touch, but didn't push him away.

"Why do you fear my touch?" Holding Erestor's gaze prisoner, Elrohir tried to get through to the other Elf. "You have known me since I was a baby. Do you really think I could ever hurt you?"

Elrohir wasn't prepared for the outburst that followed. Suddenly Erestor's arms locked around him, holding him tightly and soft sobs left the elder Elf's lips. He felt shocked and pleased at the same time; shocked that such a flood of emotion had been released and pleased because the counselor was no longer hiding from him. Instinctively he began to rock Erestor, making sure he wasn't putting any pressure on the Elf's healing injury. "What is wrong, mellon-nîn? You can trust me."

Erestor finally realized what had happened and reined in his emotions. His arms dropped onto the armrest, and he began to freeze again in Elrohir's embrace. It had never been his intention to return that hug, but he had felt so lonely, so empty, and his emotions had gotten the better of him, urging him to accept the comfort Elrohir offered.

Elrohir pulled back and looked at Erestor's face. The tears had left streaks on the elder Elf's face and Erestor quickly wiped them away.

Lowering his gaze, Erestor stared at the floor. What had possessed him to return Elrohir's embrace? Now the half-Elf would feel encouraged and never leave him alone! But did he really want to be alone?

Elrohir kept one arm folded around Erestor and used one hand to lift the other's chin, making Erestor look at him. "Why did you pull back? I really enjoyed that hug. It reminded me of the times when you soothed me as a child."

"Returning that embrace was wrong," whispered Erestor, upset.

"Why? Why is it wrong? There is nothing wrong about accepting comfort. I give it freely." Elrohir's breath caught when Erestor's eyes shone with need. The elder Elf devoured his words and hope formed in his dark orbs. "Why don't we try again?" Elrohir pulled his chair closer, sat down and enfolded the shivering Elf in his arms. "You can hug me back. There is nothing wrong with showing your emotions."

Erestor didn't dare to breathe, afraid that this warm and magical feeling would disappear again. "But it is wrong."

Elrohir gasped at hearing Erestor's words. "Why is showing your emotions wrong?" One arm came up behind Erestor's back and he gently stroked the raven-haired tresses. Erestor's hair was an even darker color than his.

Erestor shook violently, feeling Elrohir's fingers tangle in his hair. "It is best to hide them."

"Why?" Elrohir knew he was on to something when the sobs began again. "Explain it to me?"

"When you hide your feelings, they cannot see how much you are hurting. Knowing that would give them an advantage. No, it is best to hide them." Feeling entranced by Elrohir's closeness and warm, he involuntarily rested his head on the half-Elf's shoulder. It felt good to be held like this and he buried his face in Elrohir's hair, finally feeling some semblance of peace for the first time in centuries. The sobs faded away.

Elrohir's eyes were also swimming, feeling Erestor finally relax against him. He kept up the soothing strokes to the dark hair and simply held the other Elf close. In the end, Erestor's breathing calmed, telling Elrohir his charge had fallen asleep. Releasing him reluctantly, he rested Erestor back in the chair and collected a blanket from the bed, tucking it around him.

He then sat back to study his former mentor, unwilling to leave. Erestor was in no condition to be left alone and he planned to stay for as long as the hurting Elf needed him.

Glorfindel had made his way back to his quarters and now knocked on the door to Erestor's chambers, hoping the Elf was resting as ordered. He was surprised when the door opened and revealed Elrohir. "How does he fare?" Elrohir signaled for him to enter and Glorfindel complied, slowly moving toward the fire. "He fell asleep on you?"

"He cried," whispered Elrohir, still somewhat shaken. "He held onto me and cried."

Glorfindel swallowed hard, seeing the bafflement in Elrohir's eyes. "What happened?"

"I wanted to comfort him and I folded my arms around him. At first he froze, like he usually does, and he began to ramble about having to hide his feelings because showing them would put him at a disadvantage. I hugged him again and suddenly his arms came up to return the embrace. The loneliness that radiated from his eyes made me cry as well. He broke down and I held him close until he dozed off."

"He will feel embarrassed when he wakes up and remembers that he caved in." Glorfindel studied the counselor. "But it is a good thing that he did. Apparently he trusts you or he would not have allowed for his vulnerability to show." He had been inclined to relieve Elrohir, but now he felt it would be best if the twin stayed.

They sat down and Glorfindel quickly brought Elrohir up to speed with all newest developments. The young half-Elf paled visibly, hearing about their suspicions. "Do you really think his father is responsible for those scars?"

Glorfindel nodded, thoughtfully. "I think so. It certainly looks like Erestor tried to get away from Eridhren."

"And now he is coming here, accompanying Thranduil?" Elrohir's gaze shifted from the blond to Erestor. "He is very fragile, even if he does not want to admit it. The fact that he began to sob when I held him worries me. Who knows for how long he has bottled up his hurt."

"That is exactly why I want you to stay." Glorfindel met Elrohir's gaze. "He trusts you. Erestor has known you since birth and he does not fear you as much as he does Elrond and me."

"Fear Ada and you?" Elrohir's eyes widened.

"You did not see his reaction when Elrond examined him." Glorfindel studied the sleeping counselor. "I won't rest until this matter has been resolved." His gaze settled on Elrohir and he asked, "Will you stay with him? Look after him? Elrond and I will continue to gather more information about Erestor's family."

"I will watch over him," promised Elrohir. "But how can we keep him safe and sane when Eridhren visits?" He had a hard time believing Eridhren had mistreated Erestor, but he couldn't rule it out.

"Elrond and I will talk to Eridhren before he will be allowed close to Erestor. If our suspicions prove to be true, Eridhren will never see his son again. Our prime objective is to protect Erestor, and we won't let him down again."

"What else did Eridhren do to Erestor?" Elrohir's eyes filled with sadness.

Glorfindel frowned; Elrohir's question puzzled him. "What do you mean?"

Elrohir shivered momentarily. "Do you think it possible that Eridhren raised his hand against his son?"

Glorfindel drew in a deep breath, wishing Elrohir hadn't asked him that question, for the thought worried him as well. "It is possible. If those scars really stem from Eridhren's fingernails, he might have done other things to Erestor as well."

"What do we do now?" At a loss, Elrohir stared at Erestor. Even in his sleep a single tear slid down the elder Elf's face, and Elrohir instinctively reached out to stroke the long hair. He expected Erestor to flinch away from his touch, but the counselor allowed it.

Glorfindel finally found the strength to smile. "See, he trusts you. That is why you have to stay. You might be the only one who can get through to him. Whenever I push him, he shuts down."

Elrohir involuntarily held his breath when Erestor shifted to get closer to him. "You may be right. But I do not know what I am doing, Glorfindel."

Suddenly Glorfindel remembered just how young Elrohir was. Assuming responsibility would place an enormous burned on the half-Elf's shoulders.

"I will watch over him," said Elrohir determinedly. "But I am afraid I will make mistakes which will only hurt him further."

"You are doing excellently thus far," said Glorfindel reassuringly, "Just continue to follow your instincts."

"Do you really think so?"

Glorfindel nodded. "Do you want me to tell Elladan that you will be staying here?"

"Please do. And tell Ada as well."

"Elrond will drop by shortly to check on Erestor." Glorfindel struggled to his feet. "And remember to call me if you need assistance."

"Thank you," said Elrohir, smiling. "And I will call for you should I need your help."

Glorfindel slowly made his way back to the doorway. "Take good care of him."

"I will."

"Elrohir is currently sitting with Erestor," said Glorfindel when he joined Elrond and Elladan for dinner. Elrond raised an eyebrow and Glorfindel explained, "Apparently Erestor had some sort of emotional breakdown and allowed Elrohir to comfort him. I felt it best to not separate them at this point."

"An emotional breakdown?" Elrond's worry increased. "I do not like the sound of this. I will check on Erestor after dinner."

"When will Thranduil and Eridhren arrive?" asked Elladan. His father had told him what they had discovered.

"In three days," replied Elrond. "I did manage to find out one more interesting detail about Erestor's family."

"And that is?" Glorfindel wished Elrond would hurry up and just tell them.

"Erestor's mother died giving birth to him." Elrond's dark voice echoed through the dining hall. "Erestor never knew his mother."

Glorfindel's thoughts raced. "And Erestor was left in Eridhren's care. Growing up without his mother must have greatly affected him."

Elladan stared at the food, which remained untouched on his plate. Their words brought back his own pain; he still longed for Celebrian. Suddenly his father's hand settled on his, gently squeezing it.

"She loves you, Elladan. Your mother never stopped loving you and leaving you behind broke her heart." Celebrian had asked the three of them to sail with her to Valinor, and their hearts had been torn. In the end, none of them had been able to turn their back on Imladris, their home, and Celebrian had sailed for Valinor alone.

"I know she does, Ada, but the pain remains." Elladan blinked in sudden understanding. "Erestor's pain must have been even worse. At least I know I have my mother's love."

Saddened, Elrond had to agree with his oldest son. "Erestor lacked a lot of love whilst growing up." He hoped for Erestor's sake that his suspicions were wrong and that Eridhren was a loving and caring father. "We will find out shortly."

"And we had better watch Erestor's reaction when he sees his father again. I do not want to see him hurt again."

"Neither do I," Elrond assured Glorfindel. "We will watch Eridhren closely and until I am convinced otherwise we assume that he is responsible for Erestor's pain."

Continued...

Send Morgana feedback
Visit Morgana's website

The characters belong to the estate of J.R.R. Tolkien and New Line Cinema. No profit is being made by the authors or the archivist and no disrespect is intented.

Do not post this work elsewhere without the author's consent.

Home